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BNO


Yes, you guessed it (and if you haven't, please cease smoking whatever you're inhaling)! It's going to be a Boyz Night In with one of these BNO DELUXE CONDOMiniUMS! We have resorts all across the world! Prices are cheap, so get them while they're still sticky!
Dirty

One of our deluxe twin beds!

We offer a wide arrange of themes and designs for each of our rooms. The one on the right features a blue sky theme with a twin bed!

They have many different designs, from basement rat-holes to enormous penthouses practically hovering over the ground!

We have many different locations as well! While some are safer than others, we can all assure that you will have your own little Boyz Night Out at any of them!

Locations

Guam

The headquarters of the Boyz Night Out! Deluxe condominiums reaching all the way down to bedrock. We can't build up, the commies are coming. So the hotel is literally upside down. Yes, the penthouse's floor is lava. This is probably equally as great as the Leaning Tower of Pizza.

Tijuana

Korea

Oh, herro! Wercome to the BNO Korean Condominiums! Our serection of condominiums wirr brow your mind.... away with our nucrear devices. That's right! Our condos are nucrear!

Mongolia

South Africa

Themes

Every suite in each BNO Condominium location holds a unique theme. Each theme will make your stay at the BNO Condominiums just that more memorable. Below are a few examples of said room themes:

The Afghan Sunrise Room - Located on the top floor of each complex, this special room is filled with special surprises (beneath the bed, in the closet, you name it). Unfortunately, the shower doesn't work, and the sink spews out some horrid-smelling burgundy water. Ignore the huge gashes in the furniture and artwork; there have been a few scuffles occuring in that room. Also, the Middle Eastern man that walks through there on Thursdays is not part of the help; that's Askabar, and he'll detonate himself if he feels the need.

The Mongol Suite - Exclusive only to the BNO - Mongolia Complex, this archaic room will take you back to a time
Door

One of our safely locked room doors. No reason to worry about security!

when cannabilism and zoophilia were not taboo. The legacy of the Mongol warriors lives on in here, and if you're lucky, you can uncover the long-lost body of Mongolian reggae crooner Slenghis Khan, which we have strategically placed in your room. All the furniture here, including the bed, is made from sand and horse hairs. For a limited time, tamwon tea is half off through room service.

Neo-Lick-ic Age Room - This room is all about the statues. We can't tell you what the statues are of; that's for you to figure out! If you get a rock stuck up your anus during your stay here, not our fault.

The Bluedog Presidential Suite - Inspired by wiki president Kat Bluedog, this presidential suite is notable because everything in this room is blue... even the various cats and dogs running around the suite. With free Bluedog Beef around the clock, and a water fountain that doesn't emit water, but Stepatitis C wine, you'll always feel relaxed and soothed in this room... UNTIL YOU HAVE TO BAN THAT USER..!

The Looterz Deluxe Suite - In honour of black history month, this naughty condominium will have you howling all night and wanting more by the gallon. Secret juices spew from the ceiling, and if you invest with the BNO stocks, you are permitted to use the restroom. umm unfortunately the room is booked 11/12 months of the year, by wiliam greasescarlett himsefl! pls no girlfreinds

The Chateau a la Illuminati - Suite, suite, conspiracy. Don't worry, you don't need to be a member of Europe's fastest-growing yoga-enthusiasts group, the Illuminati, to stay in this room. There is so much we don't know about it; we urge you to explore and tell us what are hidden behind those black marked hallway corridors! With a faint smell of butter and death to it, sometimes around midnight you can hear the faint sound of bagpipes coming from the closet... or maybe it's Mallace strangling a pig; we aren't sure.

Jewish Surprise - after the BNO hired Japanese pimp icon and grunge polka innovator Blowhemia Minamoto, a divine plan was put in place for the CONDOMiniUMs... a suite strictly for the Jews! Bless Yahweh for this Middle-Eastern concoction; with around-the-clock kosher options (save the fasting holidays), and badass furniture imported from Israel, this is a little piece of Zion in a condom...inium. Jehovah's Witnesses can also get in, but for an additional $9,595.95.


UNDER CONSTRUCTION BY DIRTY DAN, CAPTAIN NAUGHTY, AND PINHEAD MALLACE!

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