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The Noob Academy and Learning Center was made by Edgar Wildrat when he realized that noobs are just SERIOUSLY CONFUSED people. So he decided to make and open The Noob Academy and Learning Center (or NALC).


Who We Are

NALC is an organization devoted to the study and education of noobs.


Staff

  • Principal: Edgar Wildrat
  • Vice Principal: Whathopercy/Jay Brightsun
  • History Teacher (teaches game history etc): Mr. Blasthawk
  • History Teacher (goes further in depth): Mr. Breasly
  • Physical Education (P.E.) Teacher (helps level up etc): Capt. SKull X
  • P.E Secondary Teacher: Zeke
  • First Stage (grade) Teacher (is first teacher, teaches basics etc): Jim Rigbones, Davy Gunfish
  • Second Stage Teacher (like First Stage Teacher except teaches more advanced): Robert
  • Librarian: Robert
  • Librarian:Zoomer/Black ballade
  • Librarian: Will Ironskull
  • Know-How Teacher- Open
  • Math Teacher (teaches things such as won=1 etc. etc. etc.) Jack Ropecutter
  • Noobologist (the study and information of noobs): Mr. Link (Shade Link)
  • Noobologist: Lawrence Daggerpaine
  • Noobologist: Simon Treasurehawk
  • Noobologist: Jay Brightsun
  • Noobologist: Dr. Darkskull (Matthew Darkskull) (He has earned his Doctor Degree in Noobology)
  • Noobologist: Simon Redskull(User:tama63)
  • Noobologist: Jim Bloodsilver (Noob Specialty: Stupidity)
  • Noobologist: Will Ironskull
  • Noobologist: Nate Blueshot
  • Noobologist: Jason Blademorgan
  • Noobologist: Captaingoldvane2
  • Noobologist: Nate Raidhawk
  • Noobologist: Kitty
  • Noobologist: User:Jason Yelloweagle
  • Noobologist: Albert Spark
  • Noobologist: Christopher Ironshot
  • Noobologist: Professor Crossbones
  • Noobologist: Physician Blue
  • Librarian:Zoomer/Black ballade

Student Roster

This is an area where students will be able to sign up for the next semester,which will be taking place at

The Warehouse, Port Royal on days Saturday June 18th, Sunday June 19th

It will start at 5:30 Mountain, 3:30 Pacific, and 6:30 Eastern.

ENROLLMENT LIST:


  • Camillia Tyde
  • Jim Bloodsilver (so that I may understand the noob, I must BE the noob)
  • John Raidfox

The Noob Academy and Learning Center Library (NALCR)

This is designed for ALL teachers to write short descriptions of their profession for quick hands-on use.

Noobic Behavior

The "Noob" will want to befriend other guests of Pirates Online, this will begin to happen more noticeabbly to you once you reach level 40. Depending on your level noobs can actually give you 10 friend requests at once. Founder True Masters must go through hundres of these requests every minute, sometimes by even high levels. Ever wonder why they are all cranky? Now you know.

History

The Noob Academy and Learning Center was founded by Edgar Wildratte, to formally study the activity and the programming of how noobs work. Edgar wanted to finally discover what made a noob, a noob. And thus was born the NALCR. It was first a small buisness with 4 original employees: Edgar, Jeffrey Blasthawk, Jay Brightsun, and John Breasly, but now has 27 employees, and growing. The NALC will continue to grow, and function as long as there are noobs around to school, and to study.

Unfortunatly with the closure of the game, came the closure of the academy. 

The Definition of the word 'Noob'

Excerpt from English text book chapter one:Introduction

A 'Noob' as some people call it, can be many things. It can be:


A: A low level player that is annoying and acts like the leader(Depending on attitude of the people and of the person, this could be good or bad)

B:Simply an unexpierenced low level player with great promise.

C:A slang word for an annoying person


D: An insult that is quite unkind and (Quite Regrettebly) used often.

Degree of Noob Action(DNA)

The Degree of Noob Action are certain catagories that certain noobs are grouped into. The DNA is not in any particular order. DNA 1: Noob that just recently joined the game. Will not play for very long. Crews whoever they pass

DNA 2: Noob that wants to be a leader(and pretends to be one) but cannot because is too low of a level. Basic. Very arrogant.

DNA 3: Noob that has no understanding for the game, and its controls(i.e, has no clue how to change servers)

DNA 4: An Unexperienced person, but shows great promise. Tries to level up, but often goes after high level enemies. Tries to crew everyone they pass

DNA 5: Experienced Noob that is very arrogant, and mean, and tries to attack you. Starts arguements alot

DNA 6: Anyone that thinks they are EITC or Navy Rulers

DNA 7: Noobs that follow you around where ever you go. Tries to crew everyone they pass

DNA 8: Noobs that hang around Abassa Tortuga too much

DNA 9: Noobs that get into relationships, and attempt virtual make out sessions.

DNA 10: Noobs that kiss-asses to guildmasters


Tips

  • Looking for something to say back to those annoying noobs? Here you go: 20 Things to Say to Noobs When...
  • Noobs love Port Royal- search there
  • In Tortuga Abassa, you can find certain types of Line noobs. 

Research and Studies

Edgar Wildrat

First Study: Chair Dude, this guy went into Governors Mansion and started jumping on chairs (really weird) these pictures were taken from my study:

End Result

Chair Dude is just an unexperienced noob, best kind because he is only new and not some EITC idiot. He can be helped and he is a good leveler.

Conclusion

He won't play the game very long, he is un-experienced and doesn't know how to play.

Estimated Time On Game

I give him a week.


Experiment N-Lost-Count

I was walking around and a bunch of noobs just appeared. One of them suddenly started yelling "I'M THE PIRATE KING I DEMAND A THRONE" the another said "I AM THE NEW NAVY GENERAL" then the first noob said "WHERE IS MY THRONE" and t he other noob said "Shut up" then the first noob said "Chris, (nnobs name) I reported you." then chris went "Lol, I'm using a laptop" then he said "you cant report on a laptop. And thats a fact" I was very confused. Here is the footage:


Noooob

Jeremiah Stormwash

Nothing

Jeffrey Blasthawk

Experiment: N-008-4

Research: Random. While hanging out with my good friend, Captain Johnny, we went noob hunting. We found a classic noob looking for a voodoo doll. "WHERE U GET VOODOO DOLL" he says. Afterwards, I predicted:

  1. Game play time: 1 month
  2. Weapons: 20, all crude, most blunderbuss.
  3. How much longer he will play: 4 weeks
  4. Final Rep Lvl: 9
  5. Will he find vodoo doll?: No. He wont be able to find Tia Dalma.

Experiment: N-008-5

Or, "Chair girl". Research: Exciting noob, very jumpy. I was in the Governor's Mansion with Edgar and two noobs came in. We agreed that I would get the girl, and hed get the guy. The girl seemed to jump less. This noob went outside after jumping off the walls in the Governors mansion. It went after 1 cadet. She died after three cadets. one by one, i saw the cadet regenerate, and try to kill her. By the third cadet, the girl noob was curious about what would happen if she died, so she stood still, and died... she died... O_o. I even had to heal her.

Conclusion: This will probably be her last day online. She had no idea what was going on, and no idea what the controls are with the game.

Experiment: N-008-7

Research: I only got to see this guy for a few seconds, but those seconds were weird. I saw a navy cadet RUN before my eyes, after this one level two noob. I could already tell that this noob only hit him once with his cutlass after he took off.

Conclusion: Doesnt understand the know-how of the game.

Experiment N-008-8

Research: A common noob. Obviously trying to be a leader, and stand out. Of course alot of people, including me, were hating on him for trying to be a bigshot leader. "Ok, low level people in the back! (EVEN HE IS LOW LVL, AND HE WAS IN THE FRONT) Ok people, invasion time, everyone get tonics, and lets defeat the undead!" I could have recorded everyone doing that invasion if i wanted to, but this was the worst person. I could have sworn i was the second highest level person doing that invasion!

Conclusion: He was unexperienced, and annoying, and hated on. One of the worst kinds of noobs.


Experiment N-008-9

I was bored

Shade Link/Parax

Experiment: N-008-2

Research: Not as exciting as my first study, future studies should be better. I was on Invasion Port Royal, Guines, I believe. I was killed, and a random person, later known as Experiment N-008-2, rubbed it in and danced, and did other... things.


Screen shot 2011-04-16 at 12.20.03 PM

Shade Link, AKA Hermit, gains info of Experiment N-008-2

Screen shot 2011-04-16 at 12.34.55 PM

No biggie, really

Experiment: N-008-3

Research: Not that exciting, but better than N-008-2. Screenshots explain themselves. Random Lvl. 1 playing tough guy.


Experiment: N-008-9

Research: Slightly more exciting, and entertaining. I was bored on Tortuga, Abassa, so I got into my Noobologist gear, and said it's time to study noobs. A user, known as Silent Munny, said to look at myself. I chose him as my experiment, and tested his responses to various stimuli. Eventually, I simply started saying, "Cool story bro". Though his trolling was helpless, he would come back every 5 minutes with more pathetic behavior, even saying he has played for 4 years. He also apparently has 7 Mastered pirates. I have concluded:

  1. He doesn't get much attention, so he has to look like a big shot.
  2. He is no older than 12 years, and lied about his age.
  3. Weapons are crude.

Experiment: N-008-11

Research: Desperate online dater. Called a girl on the game hot; when she turned him down, he walked up to a girl next to her and hit on her. When told that's being desperate, and that online dating is disturbing, a tantrum was thrown. Conclusion:

  1. Desperate
  2. Hasn't gotten a date before
  3. Very lonely, proven by hitting on the first girl he sees.

Experiment N-oob -18

so today i wanted to see a noobs anger, so i went on a unlilimted ship a war firgate and i told him to get a noob on broad and say you drive. So he got a noob on board and said you drive, the noob was happy but i took the wheel and got him mad and he threaten saying ill report you ill kill you ill own you and iam laughing then he said give me the wheel and i said iam to lazy to and he left in a angry mood.

Experiment: N-008-13

Research: Attempted to steal my account. Offered to Level me up, then said he needed my username and password. His little scam failed.


Experiment: N-008-14

Research: Little level 13 noob. Was found being angry at people for roleplaying. When he attempted to look big and tough, I challenged him to PvP. He backed down, and tried to be more tough now that he was cornered. Ran off, then came back 2 minutes later pretending to beat me with a hammer.


Experiment: N-008-15

Research: Sorry for the lack of screenshots. Here is what happened: I sent a PvP and forgot about it. It was accepted an hour later, and a Level 42 known as Morpheus was in it. He hid behind a Tyrant Blade, jumping, and used a glitch to phase through walls. He threw a tantrum when he found I was using Swift glitch (because I didn't remember the PvP). Hypocrite who threw a fit at me for glitching, yet glitched himself. He was using that glitch whenever he was low on health, and used over-powered weapons. Those Weapons are his Tyrant Blade, a Blunderbuss, some strong type of dagger, and a Voodoo Doll. I DID use Doll and marksman weapons, but only for Life regeneration or shattering attunements, as opposed to him using them whenever he was in a wall. He forever has my pity.


Experiment: N-008-16

Research: Sorry for the lack of screenshots. This experiment was known as Ravenheart. I found him on Abassa Tortuga. He randomly started attuning me and "attacking" with a Sabre. After telling him he couldn't kill me, he started yelling random quotes, such as "u cant even find the Black Pearl so ur a noob". I doubt this user is cure-able. Reliaj, please imprison him in the uncureable cell.


Experiment N-008-17

Research: Some guy known as Walker, level 39. We had him in our guild for a bit, then I went on his Fishing Boat. I went on a glitch to get off the ship, then started bombing enemy ships, and we started getting loot. Walker wanted to know how to do the glitch. I told him that if I said how, the potco staff would just fix it. He then resorted to begging. When I told him that it would get fixed, he angrily took control of his Boat and sailed away from the ship I was bombing as "revenge", then left the guild. He threatens to badmouth Skull's Marines and give us a bad reputation, but I will do whatever it takes to ensure a fitting punishment for him for harassment should he do so.


Experiment N-008-18

Research: Sharkman, level 14. I THINK his guild was We Die Together. Asked to drive my ship, I said no, and he threw a tantrum. He was instructed to repair my ship, which was damaged, and he refused. When I started repairing, he grabbed the wheel. I took over, then went back to repairing. He took over again, and I had to grab the wheel again. He then said "u black" (obviously referring to my character being black), along with several other insults, and I told him I can get him banned if he keeps them up. Finally, he gave up and left.


Experiment N-008-19

Research: Insomniac, level 45. Guild was Emerald Regiment. He challenged me to a PVP, the only rule being "no Broadsword". So, since I didn't have the chance to equip Cutlass, I relied on my Dagger. I killed him a couple times, and I admit, I used Swift Foot glitch, but did he prohibit that? No, he didn't. Now, you ask why I mention that. Well, he started making up new rules every time I killed him in an attempt to make the game in his favor, and constantly whining. So, I told him I wasn't going to go by his rules if he was going to whine, so I got Broadsword out. After the fight, he started whining CONSTANTLY, acting like the world was going to explode. I told him to relax and stop acting like the game was real life, and he continued throwing a fit. He challenged me to a rematch, saying anything goes. I won, and, to protect his ego, he started going around saying HE won, and that I was breaking "rules", even though there were none. Soon, people joined in and told me about how they dealt with him too. Soon, he started making claims about how he "gets 5 extra points because I cheated". He is one of the un-cureable noobs. So, if you come across this guy, don't PVP him, he'll throw a tantrum if he gets killed.


Experiment N-008-19

Research: Multiple roleplay "rebels": Isaiah, Indigo, and Natalia Niko Sage. They apparently got "arrested" by EITC roleplayers, and Indigo started screaming and, according to her, turning into a dragon (o_O). The fight somehow moved from the beach of the French island to the cliff-edge, leading to them screaming in caps random things to the EITC roleplayers, namely "-KICKS OFF CLIFF-", "-BACKFLIPS OVER SHOULDER-", "-STABS NO MISS-", and "-BLOCK-" (whenever they got shot or stabbed). Really crazy people, these days… anyways, these people were just… weird… no way to describe just how… I can't even describe how I feel o_O

Jay Brightsun

Experiment: N-008-10

Research: A nice and friendly level eight. It was my first day on Tortuga Cortevos, so i got into uniform and selected him as my research form. He was on the docks next to a few people and started going sabre wild. I commended him and randomely said "How Manner" to decide if he was troll or not. He proved to be no troll, and he attempted to friend me. I denied it, saying i did not know him so well, and he was not troll at all.

Research Results:

  1. Nice, no troll attitude, just wants to play the game and not as an EITC guy with Samuel or Leon. In truth? The best kind of low level player.
  2. Against Trolling.
  3. Doesn't care if you are random or not

Predictions: Will Prosper in game, might not have too many friends(This is only a prediction because he was sabre - ing all over the place. He probably will grow out of it. Even if he doesn't, he will have friends)

Experiment N-008-12

Research: Since it was my second time and i wanted to to a research report once more, i teleported to Port Royal and looked around a while, finally finding a low level pretending to duel another low level. I got into my gear and followed him around, doing various tests. We went into another dark alley and he said for two people to follow him. When he proved to be unresponsive to the tests, i pretended to attack. One of his companions shot at me and i shot back(Not smart), and so they chased me all the way into the Rowdy Rooster, where they abandoned the chase. My report concludes:

Research Results:

  1. A good guy, just doesn't care for randomeness.
  2. The leader-type of guy who commands high levels(But didn't go yelling up about it, he was ok)
  3. Doesn't Troll.

Predictions:Will grow in game into a leader of a guild of some type with good(and loyal) friends

Experiment: Z-1

Research: Mean, level sixteen. Insulted guild, calling us farmers. Me and my friend Charlotte were at kings, abassa, when a low level showed up. He was OK at first, but he eventually got mean. He never turned violent, but he wasn't particularly nice either. We tried to pvp him, but we ended up with other people after he either 1.Didn't accept or 2. The application got lost. I went offline after that.

Research Results:

  1. A OK guy, just gets a little hot tempered after a while.
  2. Trolled a bit, but he put "Jk" after some jokes.
  3. In truth, he was a mixture of bad and good, which is excellent.

Predictions:Will grow to an excellent level, with precious friends(Because force and strength count a lot to people in this game. Go figure.)

Medical Teaching File A-2

Research: I am on a strange point of madness. I have learned of a possibility of another sickness(Roleplaying sickness) that occurs in the occurence of when an unlimited player transfers back to a basic. I have named this disease BARF(Biological and Roleplying Foolishness.) It is when a high level can descend into the nature of a Noob. I have this disease now, and it would be best to avoid it at all costs. Cures can be to get access back, and get some crude but powerful weapons and decent clothes to keep self respect. (I'm actually role playing, but this can be a good way to not feel down on yourself. Several people are basic and high level right now and aren't even affected at all, and you know who they are.)

Medical Teachng File A-3

Research: Unlimited back, i have made another discovery(ROLE PLAYING Discovery) in this particualr area of science. I have discovered a technical follow - up of BARF. It is when an unlimited player coming out of BARF suffers ruptures of waving stuff about and blowing stuff up. I shall call this FOAM(Followup Of Atrocious Madness)

(Remember, you might not go through this, but if you do, it's basically the equivalent of excitement.)

Experiment: LV-1

Research: I didnt originally plan to make this an experiment first. It happened when i was kinda bored on Caicos. I had unknowingly teleported to a friend in the Governor's Manison, and some people didn't want me there. I went outside and did the bush glitch. A level one came up to me and started attacking cadets randomily. I began to do so to, to see reaction. HE began to attack the ones I attacked. This proved inconclusive. He tried to do the same glitch i did, and nearly got it, except he mis calculated his trajectory( I like using big words XD) I offered to teach the glitch, and he ran away. I decided to start REAL tests on him. I went "ROAR!" and i said weird stuff to see if he would try to tell me to be quiet. He ignored me. Then i pretended to attack, and he did nothing. He went to the shipwright lady and ran around for awhile until he ran off.

Research Results:

  1. A good guy who wanted to do stuff I did.
  2. No Troll WHATSOEVER
  3. A good guy who just wants to be a poweful player.

Prediction: Gonna have a great time if he switches to Unlimited, may not if on basic.

Lord Robert

Experiment: N-345-45

Research: 'Unlimited access noob. I was on Abassa on Padres del Fuego. I found a LV 1 mastered svs infamy! (Hard to believe) and rank 3 pvp infamy. I knew he would make a great experiment and i asked him that is svs and pvp all you do. Henry said that he had unlimited and has used it to master svs and master pvp then going to work on his weapons. Very rare that I found a noob that found :D. Anyway i pvp me ( i beat him ) and then i had to leave. He was smart and said he wants to master infamy! Never seen that before but ok in my book

Research Results:

  1. Very nice, good at pvping.
  2. Most likely going to continue in the game ( hope to see him again )
  3. He's cool and will not turn down PVP or SVS

Predictions: He'll most likey continue within the game and not be a noob for long.

Experiment N-456-56

Research: Unlimited access noob. While i was on Tortuga on the Antik server. I found a Lv 1 rank 4 i think svs. Kinda like Experiment N-345-45. He was although acting like a jumper but he just stands in the same spot most of the time whenever I'm on. He's either afk or idk what he be doing. Another rare noob. I asked him to svs and he said: "Nah to lazy". He's mainly on Antik.

Research Resluts:

  1. Kinda jumper-ish
  2. Going to continue in the game
  3. He's sorta quiet but sometimes says things at random

Gallery

Professor George (John) Breasly

Experiment: N008-Level #IGH

Research: What are the reactions of high level noobs to low level noobs when provoked? Approached Ben Squidskull of I N F E R N O, under the alias Mercenaire, and challenged to pvp. He denied, saying he was going to Darkhart, but he stayed on the island for several minutes. I challenged him, saying he was afraid, and he informed me he was a jumper. He did not lose his temper at all.

Research Results

  1. Kind, yet brusque
  2. Most likely trying to live peacefully on PotCO
  3. Gives I N F E R N O a good name, as high levels, yet kind.
N008-Level -IGH

Above "say again..." was Mercenaire challenging him, and saying "hello?" repeatedly.









Experiment: N0T#IN6

Research: What is the effect of a confrontation over land against a noob? Approached random level two, Pirate, on Tortos, and I claimed I was taking Tortos. He got very angry. A high level came from nowhere and told him I owned it (which I don't). He tried to pvp them all, but didn't say the results.

Speech Record

John Breasly: I claim Tortos in the name of The NALC!

Pirate: No, I claim it for my guild!

John Breasly: Run along, silly boy!

Pirate: I'll pvp you for it! I'll beat you SO bad!

Brawl: You wanna bet? I'll own you!

Pirate: Yeah, let's go, noob!

(I left)

Results:

  1. Does not understand higher authority
  2. Will not progress far in the means of a "proper" job.
  3. Obviously didn't get the "WE'RE HIGHER LEVELS" bit of it.

Experiment: 8I6-N008

Research: I've discovered the new form of Pearson Wright! Not exactly an experiment, I know.

Findings:

Simon Redskull

Experiment: N008-20

Research: What do noobs do when they need help with glitches?.A Noob discovered the Darkhart glitch and was attemping to redo it(he failed) he approached a Game-Master at the Mardi Gras Celebrations and asked for help with the Glitch.


Research Results

  1. Very confused
  2. Needs a lot of help on this

Predictions: He'll spend most of his time whispering to friends 'Can you help me with...'May lose a few friends due to this..

Curycoo

Experiement G-001-1

So, i just joined, and i was wondering how to start. I decided that to know more about noobs, i must join their ranks. So, i made a newpirate, a new guild, and waited on welcome server, collecting about 80 noobs in a noob guild (This is a record, i believe.). After this, i sat backand watched. Here is a few things i heard.

  • "Help! I just got killed by a rage ghost" (Pirate, Level 2(What is he doing on ravens cove???))
  • "Where do i get the voodoo staff?" (Swashbuckler, Level 3)
  • "Can anyone help me with tormenta?" (John Ridgebreaker, level 7)

And many, many more!!

Experiment Results:

Guild Survival chance: 1%

Time estimated until all noobs quit game: 2 months

Jim Bloodsilver

Experiment J-SEA-1: Noobs at Sea

I noticed that my colleagues expirements were mainly on land. I wondered how noobs would react to the ocean. I decided to find out.

I joined a Frigate captained by the level 18 Mark Keeltimbers. However, I found the Level 5, Pirate, to be more useful for my expirement. She simply stood by the wheel the entire time, doing nothing. At that time, I noticed that the ship was practically SWARMING with noobs. Then the ship ported. I then joined the Light Galleon captained by Freebooter, LV 8. He invited me to his crew, then continued sailing. When he attempted to attack a ship, he misjudged his broadside, and almost completely missed. However, he continued sailing.

Conclusion:

The bigger the ship, the more likely noobs are to be attracted. Also, when a noob uses his own ship, he is more likely to know what he is doing.

In short, noobs that go on other peoples ships are less likely to succeed than those who use their own ships.




Experiment J-VRS-1: Are Noobs Contagious?

During my expirement on sea, I wondered if I noobs were contagious. I dubbed the hypothetical virus Noobitus, and then went to the greatest concentration of noobs in the game, which was Cuba. The moment I arrived at Cuba, a noob ran up to me and asked to join my guild. I remained silent, and he ran off. After a few minutes at Cuba, I went to Tortuga. After another half hour of that, I then traveled to Abassa Tortuga. When I joined my fellow high levels, I felt that I had to a.) challenge anyone who argued with anyoen to pvp, b.) invite everyone to a party at the King's Arm for no reason, and c.) invite every high level I saw to invite my guild for no reason.

Conclusion: If you let your guard down, you may be infected with Noobitus. Handle noobs with extreme caution.


Experiemnt J-AGR-1: Angry Noobs

I noticed that many noobs make people angry, due to the fact that they are so annoying, so I wondered what would happen if I made a noob angry.

I found a Lv 2 named Charlette Ironcrash. I said "Hey" to her over and over, trying to get her angry. For some reason, she asked if I wanted to date her. I kept saying hey, and she kept asking if I wanted a date. When I asked her where the Voodoo Staff was, she said she didnt. Then she said she did, then ignored me. I can not say this was conclusive, but I can say she did seem a little annoyed.

I then found another noob, Ned Cannondougal. I repeated the process, except I also asked about the Voodoo Doll and I asked a lot earlier. Luckily, he didnt ask if I wanted a date, but just said Hey back.

Conclusion: Noobs, while they might get slightly annoyed, they will NOT get angry. I hypothesize that this is a self-defense mechanism, for if they were to get angry like other people, they would cause themselves to get angry. This would mean they would be constantly mad, and would never get anywhere. I also hypothesize, that in order to not get mad, they may either become a.) totally extreme, believing that whoever is badgering them wants something totally unrelated, i.e. a date, or b.) noobs will only respond by repeating back what they have heard, devoid of emotion or self thought.

Expirement J-RST-1: The Racist Noob. Go Figure.

My Friend, Ben, and I, were just standing behind the shipwright at Cuba, when, out of nowhere, this noob runs out of nowhere and attunes Ben and me. Now, I had an idea so I acted upon it. I told him "NO! Bad noob! BAD!" And then the most unexpected thing ever happened...

He yelled "FREK YOU!!"

0_0 I know, right? Thats when Ben said that this was the same noob that had been following him for a while. But then it got even stranger. While Ben and I were marveling at how this noob could use such language, he then yelled, "ITS BAD TO BE WHITE WERE ITS GOOD TO BLACK". Now just a little background, My character is Caucasian, however, Ben and the noob were both African. So i pointed this out to the noob. He just ran off. When I said, "And he runs off" he yelled "THATS GOOD". Then he came back, slashed me with a sword, and ran off again.

Conclusion: This noob is just really, REALLY messed up. Someone needs to teach him about what NOT to say, how to say it, and proper etiquitte about Dolls and Swords.

Expirement J-MPS-1: The Impossible: Noobs that are not Noobs

During my previous expirements, I reflected back to my times as a noob. As I thought I realised something, I did not fall into the typical noobish behavior. I rarely ever asked for help when I was a low level, and never bothered anyone. (Note: I am not saying this to be snooty. I SERIOUSLY NEVER asked for help. And I definitly never ran around yelling "WHERE DO U GET THE DOLL?!") So, I then theorized that, perhaps, there were some "noobs" who were never noobs, and were automatically adjusted to the game, and therefore, acted like a high level.

This Expirement is ongoing. If you know any noobs who might help, please contact me on my user page.

Will Ironskull

Experiment WI-N-001

An intriguing noob showed up,and I must write about her. Her name was Kate, a lvl. 7 pirate who had the Sword of Triton, seeing you only needed to be trained to use a sword to wield it. I was planing my first attack on the Queen Anne's Revenge. I had around 11 pirates with me, though most were between level 10 and 20. The ship battle went smoothly, and we started the flagship battle well, but when La Schafe came, most everybody was massacred. Kate was among the dead. I was alive, along with a level 48. The level 48's heart s too soft though, and as I was killed by La Schafe, he desperately tried to revive Kate. I ended up in jail with the stupid level 48. However, we had still one the battle. As it turned out, even tough the lvl. 48 was killed in the middle of reviving Kate, a glitch finished the revival. I had nearly killed La Schafe. Kate took her Sword of Triton, took La Schafe from behind, and actually had killed him single-handedly. It was stunning. Plus, she had kept my ship in perfect shape for me. She was the only survivor, and got all the loot. It was very funny.

Conclusion: This case is a Type B noob; she is simply low-level and without experience, but has great promise. She could easily be powerful at lvl. 50.

Davy Gunfish

Findings

Experiment J-234-1

So this guy was advertising for pvp and Wildshot says hes too low level, and the guys all like " I'll still own you.", then Plunderkidd says "You can't own me." and Sympathy X says, "Nah."


Experiment J-234-2

So we guilded this guy with the name of noob.


Experiment J-234-3

Found another guy with the name of Noob, might be same, Idk.

Zoomer's Story

I Just Started Online, And I Met A Noob Provoked By A Copied Chuckle And Words Of Her. It Was A Level 7 Baic Access Noob, Who's Temper Earned Quick Provokation. I Copied A Chuckle And Her Word : Odd. Then She Randomly Said : It's A Fool. To Me. I Said : It's A Noob, Back. And Then She Said : Later Fool And Barged Onto Her Ship, New Type Of Weird Noob.

Li Ironhawk

Experiment LI-POV-001

I will make my section about noobs from a noob's point of view. Unfoutunately, I could not find any noobs to study but I learned a few things: 1. Noobs are usually AFK on a dock. 2. Noobs get knocked out at Fort Charles. 3. Noobs usually run around in circles. I'll try to find some noobs to study.

Experiment LI-POV-002

I was in Tortuga in Tortos and I found a noob swinging his sword at an AFK unlimited member, Orinda Le Jeune, and Horatio Fowler (dockworker). I swung my sword once and he started swinging at me, then he left quickly.

Results

Some noobs are sword crazy &amp they swing at inanimate object or people more than players



Experiment LI-POV-003

I tried that test to see if noobs get angry and I did it to these noobs same level as me. Noob #1 didn't do anything I even said YO, ARR and BEEF at one point. Nothing. Noob #2 told me to stop, so I did.

Conclusion: Some noobs do get annoyed if you bother them.

Nate Raidhawk

Experiment NR-REV-001 - Displaced Noobs

This is my first project as a noobologist, and right now I am researching how noobs would react to being displaced in an unknown territory ( Ex. Tormenta, Perdida, etc ). I ran into a noob in Cursed Caverns the other day, getting downed by a group of seabeards near the treasure room. I picked him up, and I noticed how he attempted to run past the enemies. He was then downed again. I picked him up again, and I cleared the path for him. He got past the enemies as they spawned again. He then tried to run past the enemies AGAIN, and got downed. I left him after that.

Conclusion: Commonly displaced noobs will lose all train of thought and will wander aimlessly until finding a way out. This is probably a self-defense mechanism.

Estimated Time in game - probably 2 or 3 months, he was a lvl 18 unlimited.

Time left in game - estimated to be 1 or 2 more months.

Overall: He did speak, and was very friendly, but seems to lose common sense when in unknown territory.

Experiment NR-REV-002 - UA Noobs

Although there are few cases of unlimited access noobs, many do exist. Most UA noobs, however, are very isolated and act as if they are better than you. This is Experiment NR-REV-002, AKA, Bill, looking for attention. Please note that I am on my low level pirate, Plundermonger.

Conclusion: He is friendly, but seems to act hostile towards lower levels. Also very confused.

Estimated game time left - 4 to 5 months.

Screenshot 2011-08-28 16-11-05

Notice the noob, Bill, attempts to act as if he is powerful.

Screenshot 2011-08-28 16-18-17

Obviously very confused, or even trying to trick who he thinks is the noob, which is me, my lower level pirate.






Jason Yelloweagle

I will make sure I can tell you everything I learn about noobs

Experiment JY-AEM-001 Noobs at sea.

This is my first noob experiment. I decided to see what would happen when I put my light galleon on public. At first nothing happened. About 5 minutes in I was about to give up when a lvl 3 noob appeared. I was very excited and just watched. At first he went to the cannons and tried to shoot at the far off enemy ships. Then he came up to the wheel and stood beside me (I had the wheel just to see what would happen) then all of a sudden he whispers (the noob form of talking) "MOVE" I don't respond then he says "MOVE" again. Then he says "I'm gonna get my friends to make you move". I just kept holding onto the wheel. I was looking at the number of people on board which was still the same when all of a sudden the noob whispers "There he is guys move him!" At this I just started laughing so hard my cat even looked at me. After a few more minutes of him whispering "Come on guys move him!" He just left. I then ported and went back to my normal life.

Conclusion: Does not have any real friends yet so has made up imaginary friends to keep him company, gets very aggressive if not given what he wants.

Estimated time in game: 1–3 days

Estimated time left in game: 1 month

Albert Spark

Experiment N008-01-AS
Gab

This is my first noob encounter. When I was on Padres Del Fuego a max Unlimited Access ran into me and decided I was a perfect candidate for his guild when he whispered to me if I wanted to join. Although there is nothing nooby enough about it I asked him What it was about. When he replied he said,"U think ur all that? That sad bro rofl" and put a musket in an... "area" and began his perviness and invited in his "men" to harass me.

Conclusion: He is forever alone and has no good friends or a mentor and has decided to take up the art of pevertedness.

Estimated time left in game: 1 - 6 Months as he may get banned within that time

Estimated time in game: 1 Year

Zeke

Experiment H1GH-L3V3L-N008-1

7/9/12

Yesterday I met a rare high level noob! He was level 45 and he walked up to me and asked where the Dead Man's Chest is. I replied saying there is no Dead Man's Chest because the game takes place between the first and second movies. He asked again and I replied the same. He told me to stop joking with him. I told him I was not and again he told me to stop joking with him. I finally got him to believe me and he asked me to level with him. I said yes and joined his crew. I asked him if he knew where Isla Tormenta was and he said no. I took him there and leveled with him.

Conclusion: Probably a new player using a friend or older brother's account. I guess that his is at the maximum 8 years old. He kept making typos and used improper grammar numerous times.

Experiment ST4LK3R-N008-1

5/11/13

Today I met a noob named Amelia Heartcloud. She was level one. Amelia wore a gray cap and a sash and the default clothes shown when nothing is worn. I was talking to my friend and Amelia just walked up and started staring at me. I ignored the wretch at first but then I moved and she stood in front of me, just staring at me. I stared her down for about 3 minutes and started using the roar and angry emotes. She just started dancing. After 5 minutes of watching her dance I began trying to talk to her. Finally I stated, " I don't think it can talk," to my friend, at which point Amelia pulled a sword on me. I turned my back and she ran away and continued to stare at me from a distance.

Conclusion: Could actually talk. Just wanted to mess with me. By choice of clothes and behavior I estimate this is an immature 8-10 year old. My generalization was that they were just trying to be annoying.

Christopher Ironshot

C- N -008-AN

Much like N-008-13 except it was a level 1 noob, basic access, He said, I will level you for free, I refused, later when I came on, I found that my Sword of Triton was gone with a few of my famed.

My Findings : Hacker. Tried to do it without using a hacker program first. Time in game : I give him another day.

C-N-008-AC

Little Unlimited Access noob, Level 50, Broadsword happy. Kept at it, for I think 10–15 minutes, kept screaming "WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!?!?!?!? Pathetic, 7 year old behavior. Findings: Used a older brother's account or a older friends account. Time left in game : I can't say, because, honestly, I don't know.

C-N-008-AH

So I was looting with a friend with a friend in El Patron's Mines, with a friend, O'Rage. I found a version of Pearson Wright, much like experiment 8I6-N008 the noob also said when we asked are you Pearson Wright of Casa Di Royale? He said You are a waste of my time. ( CENSORED! ) you! Me and O'Rage just burst out laughing that a noob could use language like that.

Findings : Definantly Pearson Wright AKA Pears and was reported, may get banned.

Time left in game : Until he gets banned :P

C-N-008-AA

Extra Research on the "Noobs that aren't Noobs" in experiment J-MPS-1

Status : Ongoing

Professor T. Crossbones

I study the way a noob acts when provoked or bothered.

Study TC-N008-1

It is 3:00 A.M. where I am and I was really bored. I was just about to go offline when I see some noobs by Gunpowder Sam on De Porc. I spammed their whisper with "hi". After this they started talking in a language that is probably not english.

Study TC-N008-2

Same candidates as Parax's N-00-8 19, it happened 2 hours before Parax and the EITC arrived. I was training my men at that camp next to the beach when Isaiah and his noob friend Percy J. came. Isaiah said "This camp is for Alpha Strikers!" I responded with "Actually it's an online game, you don't 'own' anything." He then said "Spain declares war on Armed Guard!" I said "ROFL Spain is already at war with Armed Guard, do explain, why are you speaking for spain if you are in a british guild?" He then said "Well Alpha Strikers declare war on Armed Guard!" I responded with "ok" and started continuing the training. Realizing that he couldn't win the argument he said "Alpha Strikers! Lets go to Avaricia!" Indigo was afk at this time and when she got back the men were taking a break. She came up to me and said "Can I join your guild? and can I join training?" I told her she could and i guilded her. We trained a bit when we saw some noob on the cliff above us. Isaiah and his noobs came back too and Indigo started saying in guild chat "Isaiah is my life" and "tell isaiah that i love him" I ignored her completely and so did the rest of the guild. I then went afk and when i got back Parax and the EITC where there with Isaiah and his noobs. I asked what was going on and Parax said an arrest. I saw Percy J. running around and generally acting stupid. I witnessed the whole fight tha was described in Parax's N-00-8 19 study.

Study TC-N008-3

I was running around Tortuga Abassa looking for someone my level to PvP. I came across a level 11 noob 

Screen shot 2012-11-23 at 9.11.56 PM

ROFL?

bothering a level 50 girl. I joined her crew and asked what happened. She said that she had friended the noob, called Dracakool, and when he had disrespected her, she unfirended him. Now he was going around telling her to friend him or leave. He insulted her calling her a old lady and... other things. Finally I stepped in and told him to stop or to PvP me. He responded by saying "rofl tyler your just jealous" I then said, "Why would I be jealous of a level 11 who thinks he has followers." He ignored me and declined PvP. He then started to go up to random girls and stand "close" to them and say "Oh, you like that baby" and "Sorry, got to go. Sharing is caring ;)" He would  then go up to some other girl and do the same thing.

Study TC-N008-4

Screenshot 2012-11-23 23-10-52

MOAR PROOF

Alright, LOL I don't even know who to explain this. I was on Abassa by the bonfire, and suddenly this girl comes  up to me and says "Do you want to own me?" I was like ROFL in chat.?

Physician Blue

I study noobs since of their ignorance, I plan to decrease the noob population so the game can run smoothley with experienced players. 

Study of The Noob-1

I was just strolling along Raven's Cove Abassa thinking I would do a regular Smasho raid, until " Pirates " started the situation. He was walking then found me, and tried to friend me. I said yes thinking this guy might have a good sense of socialization but he was DEAD SILENT. He followed me to the cave, I tried to show him my skills by killing some fire bats. I said " here for the show? " thinking this guy might like to see enemies die. He responded with " My Gold " and tried to shoot them, he almost died. I quickly killed the enemies before they could munch on him for dinner. I went into the cave, and changed my options since my graphics were a little glitchy. The little guy continued on into the Smasho area. He attempted to attack the ghost, died, I revived him and he said his three and last
Screen Shot 2012-12-14 at 3.25.53 AM

The chat box of the event

words " Help, Thank You, " he attacked with this other guy is probably also a noob. The other guy or noob is Jim, Jim makes himself a noob by attacking Smasho ALONE. He then died, the little guy attempted to revive him but Jim just stormed out by clicking on the Go To Jail button. Jim never returned after that. So I'm with my noob, who walks up to a ghost, probably just does the hack maneuver and stands there blank. The ghost knocked a mere 9/10 of the guys health and he then just quit the game. Annoyed I left his list and discovered that he was a noob. 

The noob: Pirates, is found to hold DNA #4 & 7.

The noob: Jim, is found to hold DNA #4.

Classes

Math

Learning the speedchat plus numbers (won too tree for ive ix/sick sven ate fine/vine/pine tin)

History

Self-explanatory

EITC Class

Class to convert EITC into normal people

English

Teaching what to say (example dont say: IM JACK SPARROW!)

Know-how

Learning game basics (example: what a flagship is)

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Our primary schools building is Governors Mansion, Fort Dundee, Senor Fransisco House, Kings Arm. We have one building for every main island besides for Cuba.




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