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WARNING

The below is based off of real-time intelligence planning events. These have been declassified from an operation planned and executed by Agent Cannonwalker and Agent Mallace. The operation took place on 7 October 2014, between the hours of 06:30 and 9:00 Pacific Standard Time.

PRE-BRIEFING: 18:00 hours

Both agents had reviewed the bounty posted on Reddit for Funnyguy651. The reward was 30 diamonds for a pearl encasing his imprisonment. Cannonwalker took particular note to the risk of going near Funnyguy, cautiously pointing out the safety risk it posed. Nonetheless, it was not believed that the agents nor Funnyguy was in any immediate harm...

UNTIL

at 06:25, in the POTC Fanon Wiki Briefing Room (chat), an unknown source reported hearing and witnessing the capture of a male described to be Funnyguy, on the outskirts of the Mt. Augusta region. The assailant was described as a heavily armored man by the name of Spada81. Immediately, both agents begin devising a plan.

PLANNING: 18:45 hours

In the briefing room, agents Cannonwalker and Mallace made the decision to attempt to free Funnyguy, as he was seen as an inevitable ally and of course, close friend. With DAVESDAVY and ViceroyRobert too far to help, the agents soon discovered that it would be up to them and them alone to rescue their friend. Cannonwalker pointed out that although the Citadel plugin forces more time for break a block, it can eventually be broken into. The plan was then set: travel to Mt. Augusta, find the pearl, and retreat. A routine Search and Destroy with a hostage rescue.

TRAVEL TO MT. AUGUSTA: 19:15 hours

By 7:08, Cannonwalker had left the rail station in Holy Tree headed Eastbound for the Mt. Augusta station. Mallace was not far behind, grabbing the last of his iron supply and then running to the rails. Both knew the two big safety risks at hand: the first being suspicion from local area members, and the second being the unexpected possible arrival of Spada. By 7:25 PM, both agents were inside Mt. Augusta.

INFILTRATION: 19:30 hours

Cannonwalker, using coordinates from Funnyguy's tracker, quickly located Spada's house. Moving silently through the streets, he was able to go unnoticed through the town. Mallace unfortunately did not have the luxury. A local resident by the name of "abc" found Mallace as he exited the rail station. However, Mallace is not only trained in elicitation, but was expecting the confrontation. Using careful words to avoid suspicion, and even offering wool to prove his innocence, Mallace evaded ABC and continued to Cannonwalker's coordinates. Cannonwalker had accidentally become trapped while investigating the house, but also noticed an entryway while there. Mallace arrived with cobble and got him out. 

Then began the invasion process. Having first lost hope due to the lack of breaking down an Iron door, hope was restored when Cannonwalker practiced on the house next door and successfully broke down the wooden door. This confirmed that no building was impenetrable. Now attacking from the bottom, Mallace and Cannonwalker located the coordinates of the chest, and mined stone below to begin excavating upwards towards the chest. Unfortunately, Cannonwalker misstepped and fell to the ground, unconscious.

RESCUE: 20:30 hours

By now, an hour had gone by, and time was running out. While Cannonwalker was unconscious, Mallace discovered a block of obsidian while mining upwards. It matched the coordinates and made perfect sense: Spada used extra protection on his pearled chest. After Cannonwalker returned to consciousness and made a lightning fast trip back to Holy Tree to receive proper tools, the two reached the chest room. Using a specially devised pick, Cannonwalker began mining the top of what was now apparent to be a 6-block obsidian blockade surrounding one chest- inevitably, the one containing Funnyguy's pearl. After successfully taking out the obsidian, Mallace stepped in with an Iron Axe, forcing open the chest. Out came the pearls to not only Funnyguy's, but three other individuals - Alan_aardvark, JoshTheGreat2002  and jekanniethangen. Immediately freeing Funnyugy, the trio quickly ran for the rails. Cannonwalker stayed behind for a quick clean up, while Mallace escorted funnyguy to the rails for escape. Unfortunately, Cannonwalker once again became unconcious, and dropped essential tools behind him. Having already departed for Holy Tree, Mallace sent Funnyguy back for the tools and carried Cannonwalkers body back to Holy Tree on the rails.

POST OPERATION ANALYSIS: 21:00 hours

By 21:00, Cannonwalker was back and had his tools, while Funnyguy was free. Leaving no trace behind except for an encrypted "PPW" mark behind in place of the chest, the operation was deemed a confidential success. This was perhaps the greatest demonstration of teamwork ever witnessed between the two agents. But it will be a short lived victory, as now the two agents must be even more cautious as they are harboring a fugitive in an abandoned town.......


which leaves us at 

OPERATION HIDING FUNNY AND GETTING THE HELL OUT

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