The goons of La Mafia are the lowest rank in the cartel. They do all the small, petty jobs and the dirty work. It is estimated that there are over 500 goons in La Mafia, and the number is growing. Because nobody has time to memorize the names of over 500 goons, they have been grouped and everyone in that group is given the same name. The groups are based on the sort of work they do in the cartel. The goons generally take on the their group name as a last name, and use their real names as a first name.
- The Luigis are primarily used as assassins, spies, bodyguards for high-ranking members of La Mafia or general goons.
- The Antonios are primarily used for commiting all the crimes, and are excellent at stealth.
- The Louis are primarily used in the business and racketeering section of La Mafia.
- The Bellas are primarily used for catering and maintenance, but also for smuggling and other dodgy dealings. All the Bellas are married to a Luigi.
- The Caboosts are primarily used as pets, for smuggling and surprisingly, fighting. Mama Rita also has a special place for them in her kitchen...