Duke Nukem, otherwise known as the greatest and most powerful pirate who ever lived, was a legendary and respected man who saved the Caribbean, and the world, from threats so great normal men would have to change their pants after only a few seconds of staring into the evil that only Duke could destroy, from hostile armies of aliens to hordes of mostly-naked mermaid warriors to even pig-like EITC cops.


14, yea im basic for right now, you got a problem with that????

The Beginning of a hero

Duke was born in 1725 to Mr. and Mrs. Nukem on the island of Budweiser, where his father was a loyal member of the CDF, or Caribbean Defense Force, which was a group of former EITC soldiers who banded together to protect the Caribbean from evil. But sadly, Duke's father was killed by an evil opium dealer after a standoff over which rugby team would win over in London.

After growing up in his father's mansion for several years, Duke enlisted in the CDF, and was given his first task, to find and kill the evil Dr. Proton, who threatened to poison all the rum supply in the Caribbean, something Duke would never allow in his entire life.

Duke sailed with his partner Lil Jim on Jim's small boat to the island of Cuba, where Dr. Proton was converting the local slave population to his religion, where they worshiped the evil balding Doctor, and they were put under a mind-control device.

Duke and Jim arrived shortly after, but when they reached the Bar, the slaves attacked Jim, who was actually a former slave himself, and they ripped him limb from limb while Duke pulled out his gold-plated pistol and smirked, "Come get some mothers!"

Duke shot up the bar, killing all of the evil minions, before seeing a group of women in the corner of his eye, and soon he forgot all about his mission when he was about to hook up with them..... when suddenly, Tia Dalma and her evil crocodiles burst through the bar, and she tried to attack Duke Nukem himself.....

Tia was no match for Duke, who swung out his dual-wield blunderbusses, and he killed each crocodile, then blew of Tia's evil head, while Duke also managed to befriend Macomo, a former slave who just so happened to have a way to kill Dr. Proton, with a special voodoo-powered rocket launcher, which Duke grabbed quickly, and he thanked Macomo with a $500 bill before running into Proton's lair.

Duke confronted the Dr. "Give up now, before you dont have any limbs to waive the white flag!" Duke shouted, but Proton just climbed into his exo-suit, made of wooden planks and bones, before the two had an epic shodown, and soon all the hot women from Cuba came to watch as Duke battled the Dr.

Soon, Duke and his rocket launcher managed to destroy the suit, and Proton laid their, wounded and defeated. "I will never surrender, and this is only the beginning, DUKE!" Proton said, right before Duke ended his rein of terror with a bullet to the head.


Idk how to upload images from POTCO so here are some pics of me, the king, baby!
Duke Nukem Mt. Everest Painting

Me climbing Mt. Everest

Duke Nukem MMA Champion Painting

Me as the world champion MMA fighter!

Duke Nukem casino painting

My winnings at the Padres Del Fuego Lucky 7 Casino!

Duke Nukem Shark Wrangler painting

Me at a fishing trip!

20050609 F 8095M 49

One of my miniguns!

Duke Nukem astronaut Painting

Me landing on the moon, baby!

Comic-Con 2010 - Man with the Golden Gun prop

One of my many golden guns

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