This is a historical record of the crusade against Great Britain declared by Pope Benedict XIV, following much influence from King Philip V and his administration.
Swiss Conquest (Late-March 1746 - 23 April 1746)
State of Imperialism (Early 1746)
Some time in the early months of 1746, King William II aka Tylar Kroshbon, using family ties, began to claim land through blood relations. Using his distant family in Tuscany, Roberto de' Medici and William de' Medici, he attempted to annex Tuscany into Swiss control. Along with that, Swiss diplomacy in Hesse attempted to annex the land from under Prussia's nose. Genoa, Wurttemberg, and Lombardy were annexed in similar ways.
With William vying for power in lands outside his borders, Prussia was forced to intervene. Driven from their provinces in the Germanic kingdoms, they still attempted to hold Tuscany and Genoa. Genoa's self-proclaimed prime minister, Nico Simone, was clearly a puppet of Kroshbon's administration.
Trial of Tylar Kroshbon (23 April 1746)
Observing the "Swiss Crisis" from London, Parliament felt compelled to make a move. Spain, still dormant after it's shocking fall from power, refused to become involved. An issue was sent to William, that he should stand trial for corruption before a jury in London. He was cut a break however, when Spain decided to knock on the doors of Gibraltar, one of Great Britain's strongest naval bases.
Struggle Over Gibraltar (1 May 1746 - 10 May 1746)
Spain had quite enough of British observation from Gibraltar, and planned to remove the naval base stationed upon their shores. An embassy was sent to Gibraltar, ordering their departure. Angrily, King George II returned with the order that for them to take Gibraltar, they would first have to sink his entire fleet. Taken aback by the ferocity of King George, Spain began sending empty threats to Britain's door which were clearly ignored.
Hostilities ended shortly after British soldiers fired upon the camp outside of Gibraltar, sending the embassy and his guard fleeing.
Swiss Civil War (May 1746)
British Offensive (17 May 1746)
On May 19, King George II, with much support from his advisers, sent a request to Parliament to end the Swiss Imperialism and remove William II from his throne. Parliament swiftly approved, and British warships sent out for Genoa.
Spain's Defense Pact (18 May 1746)
Spain, vying for an ally in fractured Europe, sent an offer to the Swiss Confederacy with terms that would leave Spain with more territory, and leave the Swiss as a meat shield. William II initially intended to accept for fear of the British, but Matthias Kenwëy, an Irish-born diplomat and provocateur of some of the worst conflicts in Europe, intercepted and declined the offer.
King Philip V, outraged at this declination, ordered his armies to march towards the Swiss Confederation. British spies reported this to Parliament, who recognized that ruling under Spain was a fate "worse than death," offered the Swiss temporary peace, and turned it's guns on Spanish armies.
Swiss Civil War (20 May 1746 - 29 May 1746)
In this state of heightened defense, Swiss officials turned on Kroshbon. The alternative being Blau Wolfe XIII, the prime minister, prospects did not seem well for Kroshbon. Within several days, Wolfe had taken the canton of Graubunden, and proclaimed himself "Präsident Blau Wolfe XIII."
The reformers now aimed attacks at the country's capital, Berne, and were closing in on the city. Dreading Wolfe's administration, British vanguard rode out and defeated the moving force.
That same day, loyalists defended Jura in multiple places, publicly torching the canton's capital. Following this devastating blow, the loyalist army took down Jura, and with it fell Zurich, which was the center of warfare. On the 29th of May, nine days after the revolution, Daggerstealer and Kenwëy were both imprisoned for treason, and Kroshbon, remained king of the Swiss Cantons and Wolfe was given a Royal Pardon. Though losing land he had intended to conquer to their original owners, Kroshbon was happy to be aided by a now much friendlier British reconstruction force.
Spanish Hostility (24 May 1746 - 29 May 1746)
Battle of Plymouth Sound (24 May 1746)
As the harbour of the Plymouth Sound began to bustle, the Royal Navy did as well. Regular patrols were being readied at the harbour. This all-too-peaceful morning would be interrupted as Spanish warships entered the horizon, guns blazing. The ships within range of the Sound were being battered by Spanish cannons. The patrols sailed out to meet the warships, emptying their ammo quickly. These ships were intent on destroying the harbour.
Luck would turn sour for the Spanish when the HMS Noble Thunder, the newly-christened flagship of the British warfleet, rolled in to view on it's introductory tour of the islands. Having heard cannon fire before seeing anything, the ship was readied for battle. Swooping in, it dealt massive damage to the Spanish ships, causing one to sink in the very bay. The remaining two attempted to end the HMS Noble Thunder, with little success. Now under stress from the defenses at Plymouth, the Spanish warships were forced to retreat into the distance, with flaming sterns.
This act of Spanish hostility was taken as a war cry by the British, and the entirety of the armed forces prepared for war.
Sea Skirmishes (25 May 1746 - 29 May 1746)
Over the next few days, Spanish and British warships met on numerous occasions, gunning it out with no real victor. The British, though suffering more losses, had succeeded in revealing that Spain was making deals with hated pirate groups. Their popularity in Europe took a steep downturn after that.
Terrorist Attacks (29 May 1746)
On the final day of the sea skirmishes, an uprising in several Spanish cities, namely León, Seville, and Zaragoza. Riots broke out in the streets as armed citizens tore through, looting and causing chaos. The Spanish army had to uproot from it's garrisons to march south and defeat the rebels.
Speculation as to how these citizens were armed quickly pointed at the British, who refused to have anything to do with the uprisings, except for generally laughing at the disorder. Spain refused to accept that Great Britain had no involvement, and quickly sent word to the pope.
Benedict's Crusade - The Commissioning (29 May 1746 - June 1st 1746)
Commissioning of the Crusade (29 May 1746)
On May 29, Pope Benedict XIV, after questionable threats from King Philip V, declared a crusade on Great Britain and its' people. He had this to say: After several attempts to sway King John Breasly to cease his hostile actions against fellow Catholics, he has still refused to change his outlook on people of different religions, social classes, and nationalities. John Breasly has provoked multiple wars, has promoted terrorist attacks on innocent Spanish civilians, has promoted vandalism, has took part in vandalism, has shown an inability to control his temper when presented with facts that may contradict what he believes, and has both directly and indirectly disrespected The Holy Roman Catholic Church. Even after threatened with excommunication, John Breasly continued to ban-dodge, vandalize, and insult members of the Church simply out of spite against King Phillipe V Clemente - (who isn't even on this Wiki anymore). It is clear that Breasly's madness and personal widespread corruption have played a great role in the destruction of the British society. We the Church feel obligated to step in and remove this threat to the international community as that is what the purpose of the Church is. We are people of God, ambassadors of Christ, and pious inhabitants of this blessed planet. It is our solemn duty to protect all who are threatened by the evil that is The British Empire and because of that obligation, we are forced to act in defense against the tyranny we all commonly recognize as "King John Breasly of Great Britain and Ireland".
On this day May 29th, in the year of our lord 1746, I Pope Benedict XIV officially commission a crusade against the entirety of the British isles. All Catholic leaders are expected to assist us in our efforts to remove this snake from the seat of power and expel all evil from the once Catholic lands of Great Britain. Furthermore, let it be known that the Church will offer reconciliation to those who repent now and join the opposition against this tyrannical government of devils and demons.
John Breasly, despot of the British people, may God have mercy on your pitiful soul.
Pope Benedict XIV
In response to this, King George II publicly issued his response:
Words cannot describe the transgression that the ignorant and cowardly Pope Benedict XIV has brought upon the Catholic Church, Europe, and most of the world. As king of the largest and most diverse empire on the face of this planet, I have to inquire as to how my policy of religious and cultural tolerance has offended anyone except himself. With these weak claims that have no backing evidence, Pope Benedict XIV has proven to be naught more than an angry man who wishes nothing more than death to the country that destroyed his homeland's empire. I have discouraged terrorism and vandalism of the Spaniards since the beginning, and yet still find slander being spread about in a most disorderly fashion. The Church has overstepped it's own bounds with this offense. I ask to you, citizens of the world - who commissioned the Church with the power of an international regulation force? Is it Jesus of Nazareth's will to condemn the innocent in a madman's attempt to end my life? I would most certainly hope not - if so, all of our lives have been a lie. The Papacy has once again proven it's corruption to the face of the world. And so, I respond not with a call of war, but with a request to all sensible, true followers of Christ. My fellow human, does your God preach war, hate, and violence, or does he encourage peace within the world? Pope Benedict has overstepped his bounds, and dillouted the message of Christianity in the world with this call of bigotry.
I speak directly to you, Pope Benedict. I give to you Psalm 23:4, written by King David, defeater of Goliath. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." I fear not your "armies of God," nor your curses upon my soul. I stand by my fellow Brits, not divided among Englishmen and Scots, the Welsh and the Irish. We stand as one against the tyranny that approaches from across the Channel. With your golden crosses, stained with the soiled messages of God, your blades will prove weak against the might of the empire. And should God lead your men into battle, I will stand upon the front line and strike him down with such fury that the earth will shake and the seas will boil. For ultimately, I am the master of myself, as is every one of the men who stand beside me.
King George II of Great Britain and Ireland
The Catholic Church recieved much hate from the non-Catholic nations, and even some Catholics, who stated that Great Britain and it's king had the right to believe whatever they wished to. Several of Spain's top-notch members deserted.
That did not mean the British didn't have their fair share of troubles. The day of the declaration, both the Minister of Warfare and the Prime Minister of Great Britain mysteriously resigned, causing mass hysteria. Order was barely restored, and Great Britain much weaker.
Invasion of England (May 31st 1746 - July 1746)
On May 31, Parliament recieved a warning from the Vatican that a force was moving to take England. Every town's militia readied, and the defense for Hastings began.
Retreat at Hastings (June 1st 1746)
Spanish forces wasted no time, and by the next day, had their ships aimed for Hastings. By mid-day they had disembarked. The British, understanding they were unprepared, called for a retreat to Lewes. King George refused to waste any lives for a lost cause.
The Spanish quickly took the surrounding area of Hastings, but due to unrest from the locals, were unable to move until the next night. This would prove disastrous in their conquest of England.
Defense of Lewes (June 2nd 1746)
It was clear to the British that Lewes would be a decisive loss. However, the government had turned stable now that Prime Minister Giovanni Goldtimbers had returned. The armies, though afraid, had armored themselves at Lewes and awaited Spanish arrival. Even the previous Minister of Warfare, Sven Daggersteel, had rode through the crowds, giving rallying cries. He was ordered to return to London before the battle, however, to negotiate his job being returned.
The Spanish armies had arrived at Lewes. Minor gunfire from the British barricades proved no match to Spanish artillery. The south of the city was falling to pieces as cannonballs rocketed through buildings. What the Spanish did not expect, was a flanking. King George II and Giovanni Goldtimbers themselves led a small charge of Britain's superior dragoon cavalry, and quickly crushed the Spanish armies. Artillery was crushed under hoof and grenade, soldier slaughtered by swinging sword, and horseman run through by British pikes. It was said that King Philip V, alongside General Uther, the Spanish general, crying in defeat. His cries of denial were supposedly heard all the way from London to Hastings, "THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! NO!"
The British rejoiced in Lewes, and rode out to the Spanish garrison at Hastings. They prepared for two days, ready to drive the Spanish menace from their homeland.
Fall of Lewes (June 4th 1746)
Recruiting aid from rebel pirate groups, Spain's forces surged forward from their camps around Hastings. Pushing the British into the garrison at Lewes, the battle seemed it would go similarly as two night before, besides the fact they did not have the dragoons which had previously saved the day.
With swiftness, the pirate groups, nicknamed "The Scurvy" surged forth and took the city in the name of the Vatican. British forces retreated the garrison at London, and readied to defend the city against it's opponents. While King George II refused to stand down at London, regional governments, in case of the fall of London, were established in the cities of York, Edinborough, and Dublin.
Battle of London (June 7th 1746)
Spanish armies marched forth from Lewes on June 6, and arrived at London on the 7th. Their artillery and blitzing forces were assured victory. As they approached the gates of the city, a lone regiment of cavalry rode out to meet them. As laughter flew from Philip V's regiment, the attack was sprung. Quick-moving dragoons rode in from the west and took their flank by surprise. Spanish artillery quickly fired into the city. Fear of being pushed too far east forced Philip V closer the city, where the British waited. Tens of thousands of muskets roared as a barrage of bullets struck the Spanish vanguard. Artillery continually barraged the southern edges of London, while the infantry stood firm.
The Spanish were nearing retreat when the impossible happened. The Vatican's hired mercenaries had struck from the eastern front. The British, scarce along the east, were forced into the streets. Forced were redirected from the southern front to the streets in the east, severely weakening the infantry at the frontier. This gave Spain a massive advantage, which allowed them to move into the city and lock the dragoons into close quarters. The street combat quickly devolved into a brutal brawl, with explosions and chaos slowly moving towards Westminster. George II rode out of his palace, and into the defense.
The sun was nearing fall when the standoff took place. King George stood at one end of bridge, King Philip at the other. All fighting in the area had momentarily ceased. It was only as Big Ben struck the hour that the change occured. Minister Daggersteel rode in from the west with fresh recruits, and Scotsmen rode in from the north. The newly replenished British forced surged across the bridge.
The rest of the night was dedicated to pushing the Spanish all the way to Lewes. At the sight of dawn on the 8th, the British stopped and rejoiced.
Extermination of the Crusaders
Over the following weeks, the British fought and single-handedly removed all crusaders from the isle. Though remnants remained holed up in huts and farms for quite a while, the Vatican's "mighty force" was repelled from Britain and the Spanish would have to wait another day to conquer the British Empire.