User blog:FailPwnz/Coding

Will someone help me learn coding and stuff for userboxes and banners and sigs and things alonge that line please? Iv tried a few times and have '''FAILED!!!!! '''Big time :/. If you can help ill pay ya a 100$ in game....... just kidding >:P. lol Please be descriptive, not just like "Oh you just pout this here with this and that and that and makes this :D" lol Please!!!!