User blog:John Breasly/Ruthless Rulers

My favorite song :)

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Lyrics
(William the Conqueror)

I'm William the Conqueror,

My enemies stood no chance!

They call me the first English king,

Although I come from France!

1066 the Dommsday Book,

I gave to history!

So fat on death,

My body burst!

but enough about me! (accompanied by hand waving)

To help remember all your kings,

I've come up with this song,

A simple rhyme and ditty for ye all to sing along! Oh!

William!

Bit short, innit? Who came next?

(Henry I)

William II, cheeks were red!

Killed out hunting, so it's said!

I took over everyone!

(William the Conqueror)

That's my next eldest son!

Then King Stephen,

It's true, check it!

(Richard the Lionheart)

Hi, Henry Two, killed Thomas Beckett!

Richard Lionheart, that's right,

always spoiling for a fight!

Oh, King John, what a disaster,

rule restrained by Magna Carta!

(Chorus)

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John, Oi!

(Richard the Lionheart)

Time for my mate King Henry Eight to take up this song!

(Henry VIII)

Henry Three built the abbey,

Edward hated Scots!

A red hot poker killed Ed Two,

That must have hurt him lots!

Edward Third was a chivalry knight,

Began the Hundred Years War!

(Henry V)

Then Richard Two was king, aged ten,

Then Henry, yes one more!

King Henry Four, plots galore,

Not least is Henry Five, moi!

I killed ten score at Agincourt, then Henry Six arrived! (baby cry)

(Henry VIII)

Edward Four, Edward Five, Richard the Third,

He's bad!

'Cause he crossed swords with Henry Seven,

First Tudor and my dad!

So Henry Eight, I was great,

Six wives, two were beheaded!

Edward the Sixth came next but he died young and so my dreaded,

Daughter Mary ruled so scary, then along came...

(Elizabeth I)

Me! I'm Liz the First, and I had no kids,

So Tudors R.I.P....

(Chorus)

Oh!

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John, oi!

Henry, Edward, Edward, Ed, Rich Two,

Then three more Henry's join our song!

Edward, Edward, Richard Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again!

Mary One, Good Queen Bess!

(Elizabeth I)

That's me, time for more men!

James Six of Scotland next,

As English James the First he led,

then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the First, the one who lost his head!

(Charles II)

No monarchy, until came me, Charles Two,

I like to party!

King Jimmy Two, was scary, ooh!

And Mary was a smarty!

She ruled with Bill,

They're shoes were filled by sourpuss,

Queen Anne Gloria.

And so from then you were ruled by men...

(Victoria)

'Til along came Queen Victor-i-aaaaa!

(Chorus)

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John, oi!

Henry, Edward, Edward, Ed, Rich Two,

Then three more Henrys join our song!

Edward Edward, Richard Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again!

Mary One, Good Queen Bess, Jimmy, Charles, and Charles again!

Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria!

(Victoria)

Still to come it's Queen Victoria!

(George IV)

And so began the Hanover gang, George One and George Two!

(Victoria)

Grim! Then George the Third was quite absurd!

(George IV)

'Til I replaced old him!

(Victoria)

King George the Fourth, was known henceforth,

as angry, fat, and cross! (Hang on!)

It's true you beat Napoleon, but for most,

your a dead loss! (Bang on!)

Old William Fourth was a sailor (Ahoy!)

It's nearly the end of the story-a!

And onto the scene,

comes the best loved of queens...

Hail to Queen Victor-i-aaaaaa!

(Chorus)

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John, oi!

Henry, Edward, Edward, Ed, Rich Two,

Then three more Henrys join our song!

Edward Edward, Richard Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again!

Mary One, Good Queen Bess, Jimmy, Charles, and Charles again!

Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria!

George, George, George, George, Will, Victoria! (Victoria! Victoria! Victoria!)

(Victoria)

I ruled for 64 years, you know?

Ed Seven, George Five, Ed Eight, George Six, Liz Two then reigned and how!

And so our famous Monarch song is brought right up to now!!!!!

(Chorus)

Oh!

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John, oi!

Henry, Edward, Edward, Ed, Rich Two,

Then three more Henrys join our song!

Edward Edward, Richard Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again!

Mary One, Good Queen Bess, Jimmy, Charles, and Charles again!

Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria!

George, George, George, George, Will, Victoria!

Edward, George, Edward, George Six,

and Queen Liz Two completes the miiiiiix!

That's all the English Kings and Queens since William I, that there've been!