How To Deal With Childish Noobs

How To Deal With Patronizing Noobs
Written by XxKitty the KatxX (purrrrrz) 18:11, May 28, 2011 (UTC) for the benefit of the public

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This page is full of examples on how to deal with noobs. Usually people ignore noobs, but this here is a page on how I've dealt with those littlies. This is in no way trying to copy ideas of other people who have made similar pages, but simply a helpful page to give ideas on what to do when dealing with an irritating noob that's getting on yer last nerve.=====

NOTE: I cannot mention any names here, because it would be rude and probably quite embarassing for that person. I will refer to the other person as Pirate.

Example One: Playing Poker with a noob in King's Arm, Andaba

A rather over-excited and repeatedly losing lvl 12 person is getting fed up of losing.

The trouble about being a good sport is that you have to lose to be one, and being a good sport I am telling the truth that you're not being fair! I'm a good winner and I always win, so you're cheating - Pirate

You can't blame your opponents for applying a strategy that beats you with regularity - Kitty

You're not. I'm sure you should be in jail by now. This game is stupid. So are you. - Pirate

You're not a very good loser, are you? - Kitty

Of course I'm not - Pirate

You just said you were one - Kitty

- Jim pretends not to notice. After a long pause..

Well, if I'm the only that's the bad loser, why are you accusing me of it? It proves that you're a bad loser as well - Pirate

''We're all bad losers. But if you can react to the same way of losing as winning, that's a pretty big achievement. - Kitty''

''True. But you keep constantly winning, so it's easy for you to say. - Pirate''

''I suppose so. Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser - Kitty''

Example Two: Dating on Abassa

A love-searching pirate desperately tried to find someone without much sucess.

''Who wants a free guy?! - Pirate''

''Excuse me, but this is a kid's game. If you are looking for a lover, please search elsewhere - Another Pirate''

''What I'm doing is fine! There are lots of pretty laidies on here, but none like you! - Pirate''

''Like you? - Kitty''

The rest of this fight went on for ages, but the point was to subtly lead him off the dating subject - which was exactly what we did.

Example Three: A Noob Fight

Two lvl 14's cook up a fight against me in Port Royal. Instead of running away and getting called a coward, I hatch a little plan.

''I'll kill you! I got this pistol today and it's got more attack then the first! - Pirate 1''

''I've got a blunderbuss! I'll kill you! - Pirate 2''

I've got both, AND a musket AND a bayonet, ''so.. - Kitty''

But the two of us are against you - Both Pirates

''OMG LOOK IT'S JOLLY ROGER!!! - Kitty''

''Where?! - Both Pirates'', as they look around.

I run away, laughing.