The Mystery of The Stolen Design



 A play created by Jack Pistol and Edgar Wildrat  Published and Produced by 

Jack Pistol and Edgar Wildrat

The Mystery of The Stolen Design is a play by Jack Pistol and Prince Edgar Wildrat.

And is signed to the PWNAGE Productions Co. label.

Notes:

 * This is a play.
 * It is the first official Fan Play of the wiki.
 * The characters will be actual players
 * Layout will be more organized when we have story flowing
 * We will portray you as we see fit

Characters:
We can chose to portray your character as a villain if we wish, if you have any suggestions for your character please private message Jack Pistol or Edgar Wildrat on the wiki chat.
 * Jack Pistol - Hired by Daggerpaine Industries
 * Prince Edgar Wildrat - Hired by Daggerpaine Industries
 * Lawrence Daggerpaine - Owner and Manager of Daggerpaine Industries
 * Bill Plunderbones -Vice Manager of Daggerpaine Industries
 * King John Breasly - King of Enland
 * Sir Carlos Clemente - King of Spain
 * Zeke Adem Williams - In Jack and Edgar's search party
 * Miss Telltale - In Jack and Edgar's search party and is the love interest of captain Skull
 * Captain Skull - Captain of the ship and crew used to trasnport Jack and Edgar's search party around.
 * Matt - Captain Skull's loyal assistant and in Jack and Edgar's search party and is in love with Miss Telltale
 * Chris Swordbones - Temporary Spanish goon and friemd of Jack Pistol and Edgar Wildrat
 * William Yellowbones - Son of Prince Edgar Wildrat
 * Lord Matthew Blastshot - Head of the British Royal Navy
 * Davy Gunfish - Head of Spanish Armada
 * Bobby Moon - Cheeky Secretary
 * Jim Bloodsilver - Stalker and suspect
 * Jason Yelloweagle - King John's advisor
 * Jacky Wolfspain - King John's servant

Characters who need portrayers:

 * Many suspects and additional antagonists (bad guys)
 * More Spanish people
 * More English people
 * And many more
 * There are 4 types of people portrayable
 * British
 * Spanish
 * Allies of Jack and Edgar
 * Additional antagonists (unrelated to Spain)

If you would like to be a character ask in the comments and we hold the rights to portray you as we wish, you may ask for a certain type of character but that doesnt mean you will get it, we will chose your dialogue.

Add this userbox if you are a character in the play with this code:

Fans List:
Add yourself to the list if you like the play.
 * Bobby Moon
 * N.R.
 * John Breasly
 * Lawrence Daggerpaine, of the Gen. Of Peace and founder of Daggerpaine Industries. | Click here for Theme Song. 200px-Potc_skull_color.png
 * Lawrence Daggerpaine, of the Gen. Of Peace and founder of Daggerpaine Industries. | Click here for Theme Song. 200px-Potc_skull_color.png


 * The Snarf!

Basic Storyline:
The Spanish Armada is on the move and King Breasly enlists Lawrence Daggerpaine and Bill Plunderbones to make an advanced ship of the line. The designs go missing and Law asks Edgar and Jack to help him find the designs. Law doesnt tell Breasly and tries to hide his mistake which turns into some comical moments and a few huge misunderstandings are caused as well. The play evolves into a mystery...

The authors, Jack Pistol and Prince Edgar Wildrat hope you enjoy our play!

Signed

Jack  Pistol  of 

The Order of Nautillus 

And



Scene I
''Lawrence enters his office at Daggerpaine Industries. There is a letter with the seal of King Breasly on his desk.''

Lawrence Daggerpaine: What's this?

He opens letter and reads aloud.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: (Reading)

Dear Lawrence Daggerpaine,

It has come to my attention that Sir Carlos Clemente, King of Spain has a fleet in English waters. Carlos himself is not imposing, but, however the fleet is a large danger to England. My Navy can hold it off but it will cost us many, many men and ships. That is why it is important that you modify the design for The Ship of The Line, it is important that this top secret mission is revealed to no one, if Spain finds out they will launch a counterattack that will be devastating. Make sure that nobody finds this letter. Please begin on the design as soon as possible. Enclosed is a copy of current Ship of The Line blueprints.

Sincerely

King John Breasly

Lawrence: Bill, can you come in here quickly. We have work to do!

Bill Plunderbones: Is it a commission from Mr Breasly? If not I'm kind of busy.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Nice guess, Bill! The Spanish Armada has been spotted in English waters and Mr Breasly wants an improved Ship of the Line design. Here are the original blueprints.

Lawrence hands over the blueprints to Bill.

Bill Plunderbones: I'll look over the blueprints and leave them on your desk before I leave tonight. (Aside) And what a long night it's going to be. Darn those Spanish and their military activity!

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Thank you, Bill! I'm going to go now. I'll look over your designs in the morning.

Lawrence puts the letter down on his desk.

Both Exit

Scene II
''Next morning at Daggerpaine Industries. Enter Lawrence Daggerpaine, holding his clipboard. His cheeky secretary, Bobby Moon, is already there.''

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Good morning Miss Moon.

Bobby Moon: Morning, Law.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Could you send a letter to Mr Breasly telling him we have finished the designs for his ship and that we will begin working immediately.

Bobby Moon: Can I go on my break first?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: You just got here, how can you already need a break? (Writes something on clipboard) Please just do it.

Enter Bill 

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Morning, Bill. Did you finish the designs last night?

Bill Plunderbones: Yes they are on your desk.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Great, we will begin work on the ships tomorrow. Take the designs with you tonight for safe keeping.

Bill Plunderbones: Okay.

Bobby Moon: What's that oaf you call a king's last name again? I need it for the letter.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: That "oaf" contributes to your salary, Miss Moon. And I would prefer it if you called him Mr Breasly rather than an oaf.

All exit.

Scene III
Bill Plunderbones is fast asleep in his house

Bill Plunderbones: (Sleep-talking) Light.....Light.....Caboost....Light.....Esmeralda...Light...

Large crashing sound is heard.

Bill Plunderbones: (Awake) Wha...?

Bill goes back to sleep.

Another large crash is heard.

Bill Plunderbones: Who's there?

Bill gets up and walks into other room of his house and sees a thief hunched over looking for the plans.

Bill Plunderbones: Hey!

Bill draws his sword.

The thief turns around with a face is covered by a hood.

Bill Plunderbones: (As thief runs away from the room) Stop right there!

Thief is cornered and starts to duel Bill.

''Bill parries a lunge and cuts at the thief's head. ''

Thief cries out in pain throws a dagger at Bill and jumps out of the window.

Bill Plunderbones: (Looking at wound) He got away......

Bill falls unconscious.

Scene IV
King John is sitting in his throne room relaxing.

Enter William Yellowbones

William Yellowbones: My Lord, I have in my possession three letters addressed to Your Majesty.

King John: Which of the three bears the best news?

William Yellowbones: (Steps forward) I believe it's this one from a, Lawrence Daggerpaine of Daggerpaine Industries.

King John: Ah, news of the ship no doubt. And the other two letters?

William Yellowbones: The first is from Lord Blastshot, who has returned to English waters from the Caribbean. And the other is hate-mail from that cretin that has been stealing your socks, My Liege.

King John: Discard the hate-mail and bring forth, so I may read, the letter from Lawrence Daggerpaine.

''William Yellowbones gives King John the letter. ''

King John: (Reading)

Your majesty,

With the help of my companions at Daggerpaine Industries, I have completely redesigned and improved the Ship of the Lines as per your request. Work on the vessels is underway as your eyes scan the ink on this page. Once the fleet is completed I will personally see to it that the fleet crosses the Atlantic Ocean safely and docks in an English harbor. The commoners of Spain will not even be able to use Sir Carlos Clemente’s navy as firewood after Your Majesty’s Admirals touch the helms of these vessels. Enclosed is the improved Ship of the Line design.

Sincerely

Lawrence Daggerpaine

The improved designs are not with the letter.

King John: Have you got the improved designs that came with the letter?

William Yellowbones: No, My Lord, only one sheet of paper was there and you are holding it.

King John: He must have forgotten it. How long is Lord Blastshot’s letter?

William Yellowbones: Four pages.

King John: Tell me the facts.

William Yellowbones: He has returned to English waters and has noticed an abundance of Spanish ships.

King John: It took him four pages to say that!? Reply to Lawrence asking for a second copy of the improved designs, have some ships and our newest privateer captain, Richard Goldvane, as well to go help Lord Blastshot find safe passage back to London and see to it that the stalking, sock-stealing cretin is arrested!

William Yellowbones: At once, Your Majesty!

Both exit.

Scene V
''At Daggerpaine Industries. Enter Lawrence Daggerpaine holding his clipboard and reading a letter. Enter Bill Plunderbones running.''

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Look at this Bill. I found this letter on my desk this morning. It seems Miss Moon has resigned because her grandmother living in Spain has died and she has moved back to support the family.

Bill Plunderbones: Shame maybe that explains her poor disposition and awful attitude. Anyway, now we’re going to need another new secretary!

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Hmm…(Writes something on clipboard) Sadly you're right we will have to send out a poster advertising the job and hope we can hire someone soon.

Bill Plunderbones: Speaking of hiring. You might want to hire a detective.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Why is that?

Bill Plunderbones: The designs were stolen last night and I don’t know who took them.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: (Hits Bill with clipboard) Well now what on earth are we going to do, Bill?! I’ve already told Mr. Breasly that the ships’ construction begins today and I can’t tell him that we have been delayed and that the plans might have fallen into Spanish hands! You know how he feels about incompetence!

Bill Plunderbones: (Sounding like he's in pain) Well that’s why we need someone to retrieve the designs for us before Mr. Breasly finds out and before Mr. Clemente starts to build a whole new navy!

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Well who could we hire? Do you know any good detectives?

Enter Jack Pistol holding a document and a single barrel black pistol and Edgar Wildrat with a gold-handled saber.

Bill Plunderbones: (Mockingly) Protect me Caboost!

Jack Pistol: (Throws document at Lawrence) Law I have completed your Weak Ear Quest that required people to solve riddles in French in certain documents that you have written. I believe there is a reward?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Yes, the reward is this fancy decorated box that says you have completed my quest. You can keep anything you like in there.

Edgar Wildrat: Jack, I thought you were receiving a reward in the form of small circular shiny objects that could fund our poker game this afternoon?

Jack Pistol: That’s the other reason I told you to bring your saber Edgar.

Bill Plunderbones: What’s the first?

Jack Pistol: Gambling isn’t fun if you don’t win, Bill.

Bill Plunderbones: (Laughing) Do you want the opportunity to increase the value of your reward?

Jack Pistol: I’m listening.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Mr. Breasly, (Pointing to Edgar) your grandfather, has noticed an increase in Spanish vessels around some of his key ports in England. There is no war as of yet but Mr. Breasly is aware of Mr. Clemente’s temperamental attitude and has asked us to redesign the Ship of the Line in such a way that it can better the vessels of the Spanish Armada.

Jack Pistol: Do you want me to captain one of these ships for King Breasly?

Bill Plunderbones: We would prefer if you retrieved the stolen designs before Mr. Clemente lays eyes on them.

Edgar Wildrat: They were stolen? By who?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: That’s the question you two must answer.

Jack Pistol: What’s the reward?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: How would you two like a post aboard one of these fine vessels?

Edgar Wildrat: Can you include some money in that deal?

Jack Pistol: What about a coat worthy of the post?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Yes and yes.

Edgar Wildrat: I accept!

Jack Pistol: Hmm…will there be wenches on our quest for the stolen designs?

Bill Plunderbones: Most likely.

Jack Pistol: I accept!

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Great! Uh, Edgar could you keep this subject low? I don’t want your grandfather to learn of this little dilemma.

Edgar Wildrat: Of course I can.

Bill Plunderbones: It’s a deal. You can go to my house and check the factory for clues if you like.

Jack Pistol: Not before my 11 o’clock rum, Bill.

All exit.

Scene 1
''At Bill Plunderbones' residence. Enter Jack Pistol, Edgar Wildrat and Bill Plunderbones.''

Bill Plunderbones: This is the room I hid the designs in. Feel free to snoop around I must get back to work to try and see if we can somehow begin work on the ships.

Jack Pistol: Do you happen to hide anything else in this room besides designs and other documents of importance?

Bill Plunderbones: Such as?

Jack Pistol: You know, booze and such?

Edgar Wildrat: Or spare change?

Bill Plunderbones: I really need to go.

Exit Bill Plunderbones.

Edgar Wildrat: Let's get started!

Jack Pistol: Okay, I'll check this side of the room you check that side of the room.

They begin searching the room.

Edgar Wildrat: (Holding a small emblem) What's this?

Jack Pistol: Is it a clue?

Edgar Wildrat: How must I know?

Jack Pistol: Hmm... It looks like an emblem. I'm not familiar with its design so I can't tell whose it is.

Edgar Wildrat: Well a clue usually points someone somewhere significant. Where do you think we are supposed to go next?

Jack Pistol: This clue significantly points me towards the bar we saw down the street. I think we should check it out!

Edgar Wildrat: (Facepalm) Ugh, we are definitely going to need some brains for this operation, you and I are not the best of detectives.

Jack Pistol: What about Simon Redskull? He is very intelligent and I hear he is in need of a job.

Edgar Wildrat: Let's hire him!

Jack Pistol: We will talk with him over a drink at the bar that has become significantly attractive.

Both exit.

Scene 2
''At the near by bar. Enter Simon Redskull, Edgar Wildrat and Jack Pistol.''

Jack Pistol: (To waiter) I would like a tankard of your finest and or cheapest rum.

Simon Redskull: Let's focus please. What did you want to see me about?

Edgar Wildrat: We have a case to solve and we're not....The best detectives.

Simon Redskull: Whats the problem?

Jack Pistol: John Breasly asked D.I. to make improved ship of the line blueprints to fight of Spanish vessels.

Edgar Wildrat: The blueprints were stolen, someone crept itno Bill Plunderbones's house and took them.

''Waiter comes with rum. Unbeknownst to them she is the secretary from Daggerpaine Industries''

Jack Pistol: (Taking a drink) About time, too!

Simon Redskull:So you want me to help you find the culprit? Have you looked at the scene of the crime? Did you find anything?

Jack Pistol: Yes. (Hiccups)

Edgar Wildrat gives the small emblem to Simon Redskull.

Simon Redskull: I know this! This emblem is Spanish, the theif most have been working for Spain!

Jack Pistol: Then thats our next destination!!!

Jack Pistol gets up and falls over.

Edgar Wildrat: I'll get a ship. We will set sail, soon.

Simon Redskull: We will need someone to help us get into Spain, we cant just waltz in.

Jack Pistol: (Still lying on the floor) I know the perfect man for the job, Zeke!

Edgar bends over Jack and takes a sack of money out his pocket then puts it in his own.

Edgar and Simon then help Jack up and take him outside.

All exit.

Scene III
''At King Carlos Clemente's Castle in Spain, Madrid. Enter King Carlos Clemente, Cortez, his royal advisor and loyal assistant and Chris Swordbones, his temporary goon.'' <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez: (Bowing) You wished to see me, sir? Carlos Clemente: Yes, and I would prefer it if you called me king and if that other man bowed (pointing at Chris). <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez: My apologies sire. Bow before the king, Chris! <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Chris begins to chew on celery. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Carlos Clemente: When will the spy return with the designs for the ships? <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez: My king, the plans will be here within a week. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Carlos Clemente: And by what time can we begin building? <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez: Immediately. We have already begun collecting wood and supplies for building. Carlos Clemente: I want it done as soon as we can. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez:Yes sire! <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez sees Chris is still not bowing. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez: Bow before the king you ingrate! <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Chris Swordbones: I'm only temporary. Bowing is unnecessary. Carlos Clemente: You will bow or become unwelcome in these lands, Swordbones! <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Chris Swordbones: (Stops chewing celery) I don't bow to fruits, Pear! <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">''Chris turns on his heels and makes way for the door. Carlos Clemente flies into a fit of rage.'' <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Carlos Clemente: Salga usted escoria! <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Chris Swordbones: Comer mis cortos y vas al infierno. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Exit Chris Swordbones. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Carlos Clemente: Make sure he leaves by sundown or I will kill him. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez: As you wish, my king. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Carlos Clemente: Lawrence will try and retrieve the designs, see to it personally that he fails. Cortez: How shall I do that? Carlos Clemente: Track him down and stop him dead in his tracks. He will probably journey to Spain in search of his designs soon. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cortez: I will take some men with me to deal with this minor threat. Carlos Clemente: Good.

Both exit.

Scene IV
Enter Lawrence Daggerpaine, Bill Plnderbones, Simon Redskull, Jack Pistol and Edgar Wildrat being followed by a small crew of six men.

Edgar Wildrat: Jack, did you send off our agent to Spain?

Jack Pistol: Yes, Zeke should be there waiting when we arrive and will help us get into Spanish soil without being caught. Did you find us a ship and crew?

Edgar Wildrat: This is the crew that will be dragging us across the Atlantic (Pointing at small crew behind him) and that is the ship (Pointing to a small ship).

Lawrence Daggerpaine: The ship is smaller than the crew!

From the crew of six men standing behind Edgar Wildrat the largest steps forward.

Large Crewman: That ship, under the command of me, Captain Skull X, has succesfully looted an entire Spanish Treasure Fleet and sunk several war galleons.

Simon Redskull: You hired a bunch of squabbling pirates with an ego-maniac for a leader, Edgar?

Edgar Wildrat: They came with the ship, it was a great package deal!

Lawrence pulls out clipboard and does a few calculations.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Hmm... By the standards and size of that ship I think that only seven or eight of us can go aboard without the ship eventually sinking. I also took the food and other supplies into my calculations.

Bill Plunderbones: (Counting) There are eleven of us.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Three people will have to stay here.

Simon Redskull: Thank you, Professor. I believe that we should decide who stays by....

Edgar Wildrat pulls out his gold tri-barrelled pistol and shoots three of the crewmembers.

Edgar Wildrat: (Reloading) Did I kill enough?

Jack Pistol: Thank you, Edgar! That's much better! All aboard?

All but Jack, Edgar and the dead crewmen look stunned.

A voice is heard.

Voice: Jack, you idiot!!! Why didn't you come to the poker game? I've lost and now the fools we were going to scam want to kill me.

Shots fly past the approaching enraged woman.

Jack Pistol: Sorry, Miss found a better source of income.

Captain Skull X stares besottedly at Miss Telltale.

Miss Telltale: I'm including myself. Let me just deal with these angry gamblers and I'll join you.

''The mob approaches and Miss draws her hidden blade. Captain Skull X steps forward and charges the mob. He defends Miss and fights off the mob without giving he a chance to fight them.''

Miss Telltale: Could have done it myself, but I like a free escape. Jack, is their space on the ship?

Before Edgar can do anything Jack kicks a crewmember into the water.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Right this way Miss uh... Miss Miss.

Bill Plunderbones: Law, I think i should stay here and see what I can do to get the vessels construction underway.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Good thinking Bill. I'll see you when we return. If this ship doesn't sink or if Edgar and Jack don't get us killed. Send my reports regarding the ship construction and I believe Mr Breasly requested a second copy of the improved designs you will have to make another copy of your improvements from memory.

All exit.

Scene V
<p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 0.4em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Aboard the HMS Victory.Enter Captain Richard Goldvane, Lord Matthew Blastshot and Navy guards. Captain Goldvane: You wished to see me, sir? <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Matthew Blastshot: Yes, is the fleet ready? Explosions and ship vibrating is heard and seen. Captain Goldvane: Well, I'm only a privateer Captain in the employ of England, but as far as I can tell, not quite yet, sir. Blastshot walks to maps and begins plotting courses. Matthew Blastshot: What do you mean not quite yet? The Spanish Armada is fast approaching our ports and all we are doing is standing here! I want the fleet ready, when will it be ready? Why isn't it ready? IS it ready? Captain Goldvane: Sir, the fleet is incomplete without the new ship of the lines. A ship swings backward and part of it explodes. Matthew Blastshot: (Barely noticing) We will have to do without it. Captain Goldvane: Yessir! I will prepare to launch the ships, or at least what we have, immediatly! It will take a while for us to reach the Spanish, rest assured I will support your fleet with the Green Runner! Matthew Blastshot: Excellent, we have not been given permission to take the offensive yet, but we can do the best to ensure that no more Spanish ships enter our waters and that none of them get any closer to England! I will be travelling up river to speak to His Majesty. <p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A cannonball and shards fly through room.

<p style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Blasthshot doesn't seem to notice, but Goldvane and the navy guards race for the door. All exit.

Scene I
''Aboard Captain Skull X's ship, l'Invincible Radeau. Enter Jack Pistol, Edgar Wildrat, Simon Redskull and Captain Skull.''

Edgar Wildrat: Simon, how far are we from Spanish the coast?

Simon Redskull: We should see the coastline very soon.

Jack takes the helm.

Captain Skull X: Do you even know how to steer a ship?

Jack Pistol: This would be more like directing a raft.

Captain Skull X: Stop insulting my fine vessel!

Land can be seen on the horizon.

Edgar Wildrat: Land! We are finally here!

Jack begins to turn the ship's wheel left until the ship is parallel to the coastline on the horizon.

Simon Redskull: Jack, what do you think you are doing?!

Captain Skull X: I knew he couldn't steer a ship!

Jack Pistol: It would be extremely stupid of us to think that we can land this raft over there, in Spanish territory, travel all the way to King Carlos' castle or where ever the designs have been taken and expect it to be exactly as we left it.

Edgar Wildrat: You have a point. We would also proably never make it all the way to the King's castle if we travel straight through Spanish land.

Jack Pistol: That's why I plan for us to land in the South-West of France and travel down into Spain to an estate owned and operated by my cousin, Nicholas Nikolai, to resupply ourselves, and then continue by back road to the capitol.

Simon Redskull: Would Nicholas perhaps a real ship that can return us to the Caribbean safely?

Jack Pistol: We can only hope and pray!

Captain Skull X: What's that supposed to mean?

Edgar Wildrat: Well, this "ship" of yours is more of a one-way ticket than anything else, Skull.

All except Captain Skull X laugh.

Captain Skull X: And what do you mean by "a real ship", Simon?

Jack Pistol: What do you mean Simon? This isn't even a fake ship!

All excpet Captain Skull X laugh.

Caprain Skull X draws his sword and charges Edgar and Jack.

He thrusts with his sword at Edgar.

Edgar dodges and draws his saber.

Captain Skull X hacks twice at Jack.

Jack dodges the first and blocks the second.

''Captain Skull X overhead cuts at Edgar. He misses and his sword slams into the railing in front of the helm.''

Simon draws his sword and hits Captain Skull X's sword that is now on the railing, loosening his grip and causing him to drop it.

Simon Redskull: Have you simians been so caught up hacking steel at each other that you haven't noticed the oncoming danger?

A Man-O-War flyig English colors and a one other flag is approaching.

''Enter the rest of the crew: Lawrence Daggerpaine, Miss Telltale and Matt. ''

Miss Telltale: Can't you idiots shut up while I sleep?

Captain Skull X: My beauty awakes. Did you dream of me as I did of you?

Miss Telltale: Shut up.

Edgar Wildrat: That's Captain Robert Macmonger's ship.

Jack Pistol: I foresee him delaying us!

Edgar Wildrat: I foresee him watching his tongue and bowing to the prince.

Simon Redskull: He's a corrupt navy captain, Edgar. You will have to bribe your way out of this.

Edgar Wildrat: I would have money if Law rewarded Jack properly!

Lawrence Daggerpaine: And I would have money to reward Jack properly if your father paid me half upfront for the designs!

Simon Redskull: Can we focus, please?!

Captain Skull X: (While rubbing the railing of the ship)Not to worry, I've defeated stronger ships than that one on this beauty.

Jack Pistol: Sure you have. This raft is a feat of technology! I mean it can float the whole way across an ocean.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Well what are we going to do? Mr. Macmonger will arrest most of us and financially cripple the rest!

Matt: Well... um... at the direction Macmonger's ship is travelling we could set sail and pass him in this favorable wind?

Nobody notices Matt's valid input.

Miss Telltale: I could kill him with meh hidden blade?

Jack Pistol: Miss, I don't think your hidden anything could stop Macmonger.

''Captain Skull X suddenly snaps out of a daze and looks alert. He then looks mesmerized at Miss.''

Edgar Wildrat: Let's all go below deck and try and figure this out.

All head for the lower deck.

''Captain Skull X grabs Matt and pushes him out of Miss Telltale's way. He then follows close behind Miss.''

Captain Skull X: So tell me more about your um.... hidden blade?

All exit.

A slap is heard offstage.

Scene II
''At King John's palace. Enter William Yellowbones, Jason Yelloweagle, holding two letters, and Jacky Wolf.''

Jacky Wolf: (Bowing) Good morning, sir.

William Yellowbones: Good morning, servant. Yelloweagle what are you holding?

Jason Yelloweagle: Letters for His Majesty.

William Yellowbones: Let me read them!

Jason Yelloweagle: They are for the king, not his grandson.

William Yellowbones: Do you want to be hung?

Jason Yelloweagle: Sorry, sir.

William turns towards Jacky as if he has alreadu forgotten about the letters.

William Yellowbones: Servant!

Jacky Wolf: Yes, my lord?

William Yellowbones: Why is my father not here?

Jacky Wolf: Well, I don't know because I can't ask him because of his absence, you see?

William Yellowbones: Sounds like a cheap excuse to me. Go see if he needs help getting ready!

Jacky Wolf: At once!

Jacky Wolf heads to the door.

Enter John Breasly, wearing shoes but no socks.

Jacky turns around and heads back to William and Jason.

Jason Yelloweagle: My king, where are your socks?!

King John: Some cretin has run off with them! And it seems I'm also short on one powdered wig!

Jason Yelloweagle: Well, okay. I have some letters addressed to you, sire.

King John: Who are they from?

Jason Yelloweagle: (Holding the letters) This one is from Daggerpaine Industries and this one is from Lord Matthew Blastshot.

King John: Let me see the one from Daggerpaine Industries.

Jason hands the letter to King John.

King John: (Reading)

Your Majesty

The construction of the improved ship of the line fleetis underway. Enclosed is a copy of the improved designs as per your request. The vesslels should be completed soon and then be brought to England.

Sincerely

Bill Plunderbones

King John looks at the improved designs.

King John: Impressive Lawrence! Show me the other letter, Jason.

Jason gives King John the letter from Lord Matthew Blastshot.

King John opens the letter and finds that it is eight pages long.

King John: I only asked him to tell me how the fleet was holding up against Spain and he sends me an eight page letter! The man is a bloody bore! Jason, summon him to the palace immediatley!

Jason Yelloweagle: Yes sire!

William Yellowbones: What of your sock thief?

King John: Hmm... Jacky, have the royal tailor make me several new pairs of socks. William, increase palace security and have anyone suspected of this sick crime arrested!

William Yellowbones: And hung?

King John: Yes! And throw in some maiming too!

All exit.

Scene III
''Aboard l'Invincible Radeau. Enter Captain Skull X, Matt, Jack Pistol, Edgar Wildrat, Lawrence Daggerpaine, Simon Redskull and Miss Telltale.''

Macmonger's ship is now almost upon them.

Matt: We should have ran when I suggested it.

Captain Skull X: Shut up, Billy. You have no clue about sailing.

Matt: Actually, sir, my name is Matt and I used to be the helmsman aboard the HMS...

Captain Skull X: James, we have more important things to worry about than your life story.

Matt sighs.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Shall we try reason with Mr Macmonger?

Simon Redskull: Good luck, trying to talk sense into the Royal Navy's most corrupt captain.

Robert Macmonger's ship pulls along side and grapples are thrown onto the railing.

Enter Robert Macmonger accompanied by eight navy soldiers.

Robert Macmonger: I see three men and a lady who will be spending tonight locked in my ship's brig!

Edgar Wildrat: Captain Macmonger, I order you to return to your ship and sail away.

Robert Macmonger: And a prince who will be paying a steep price for his kingly father not to hear of his acquiantance with four criminals.

Simon Redskull: You're a corrupt thug!

Robert Macmonger: And you are the first of the four to be put under arrest.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: What is Simon charged with?

Robert Macmonger: He dwells too deep in military documents and secrets he should not know about. He has often stolen important papwerwork from the navy.

Two navy guards grab Simon and put cuffs on his wrists.

They take him behind Macmonger and hold him there.

Navy Guard 1: Who is next sir?

Robert Macmonger: Ladies first. Arrest Miss Telltale for murder, theft, lawlessness and many other crimes including turning down a marriage to me.

Captain Skull X: How dare you try and marry this fine lady!

Robert Macmonger: Arrest him too. He has fired on ships owned by His Majesty with this poor excuse of a ship.

Captain Skull X: On the country! My ship, l'Invincible Radeau is a fine majestic vessel!

One of the navy guards laughs.

Navy Guard 2: (In a French accent) I believe you mean contrary, it is shocking that me, a Frenchman, can speak better english then an Englishman.

Captain Skull X: The correct term is gooder English but I'll let it slide because you are still learning.

Navy Guard 2 rolls his eyes.

Navy Guard 2: (Still in his French accent) By the way who named your ship?

Captain Skull X: The man who I bought it from did. He said it was French for The Invincible Titan!

Navy Guard 2: He was lying to you, it means (while laughing) The Invincible Raft!

All begin to giggle.

Robert Macmonger: Enough jokes! Arrest them!

Miss and Captain Skull X are both approached by two navy guards.

Their hands are cuffed and they are taken to stand next to Simon.

Miss Telltale: Please, dont make me share a cell with this guy!

Robert Macmonger: We are short on space, you will have to. (Evil laugh)

Captain Skull X: And I think to myself what a wonderful world!

Robert Macmonger: And now for Jack Pistol. Cuff him!

Two navy guards approach Jack.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Is there no way we can reason with you?

Robert Macmonger: Only one thing can sway my decisions and it seems none of you have that one thing.

Captain Skull X: Is it a majestic vessel? I have one of those!

Edgar Wildrat: You idiot! He means money!

Before the navy guards reach Jack, he draws his sword and hacks at the nearest of the two.

Edgar draws his saber and slashes at the other one.

Robert Macmonger fires a shot with his pistol and everyone stops.

The other guards race forward, grab Jack and cuff him.

Robert Macmonger: You just love to annoy me dont you, Jack? And you too Edgar! You are both bloody pests.

Jack is taken to stand with the other prisoners.

Robert Macmonger: Edgar, I excpect to have my bribe before I reach your father if not you can expect to be disowned. (Evil laugh)

Exit Robert Macmonger, The eight Navy Guards and the four prisoners to Robert's ship.

Matt: Now what do we do?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: The loss of Mr Pistol and the rest does mean less people to reward, however, it means a harder job for us and the possibility of Mr Wildrat being reported to his father.

Edgar Wildrat: So we rescue them!

All exit