User blog:Parax./Your daily comedy

I will use this blog to document events I experience that I find amusing over the past day in which it was updated.

Some random time that I do not remember:
 * 1) Mom got me medicine that I take once a day to get more nutrients. Now, when I'm asked by her, "Did you take your meds?" it sounds like I'm insane. You know what else adds to that? They're gummies.

October 14:
 * 1) During lunch. One of my friends bought 2 cookies, and offered one to another person at our table. She refused, and he kept insisting. Soon, he flung the bag forward, shooting the cookie into her hand, while yelling "TAKE DA COOKAY!" She gave it back, while meanwhile, another kid at our table went off to throw the remainder of his lunch away. He dropped his book in the trash in the process…

October 17:
 * 1) I got out of gym late-ish. I was in a hurry to get to Language Arts class, and when I arrived, I realized I forgot my homework in my locker. I dropped my stuff onto my desk, told a friend to watch my stuff, and bolted out of the class, down several hallways, and to my locker. HOWEVER, in the process, as I ran, my arm got hooked by part of a locker, causing it to be pulled backwards as I ran. I heard a loud crack, exclaimed a certain word you should never say… right in front of another student… then continued running. I got my stuff, and heard the bell ring. I bolted back towards the class, hit my same arm AGAIN, slipped and almost hit my head on a wall, and reached my classroom. I sat down at my seat, and my teacher didn't even notice.

October 19: A. One kid dressed up as a cow, even for gym class. B. One kid wore a plastic cape and a knight helmet. C. During gym, we were playing Handball as an activity. When one kid was about to pass the ball, another kid screamed (mind you, this is a quote), "PINGAS!" The guy holding the ball dropped it and fell over, laughing uncontrollably. D. One kid was dribbling the ball, and then someone from the opposite team stood in his path, yelling, "DEFENSE! DEFENSE!" The guy dribbling the ball tried to flank the defending guy, and spun while doing so. He dropped the ball and it landed in the defending guy's hand, and he exclaimed, "THE POWER OF DEFENSE!"
 * 1) Today was interesting. Most of the comedy happened in gym class today. Anyways, our High School dance privileges were taken away due to several kids being inappropriate. So, the kids are rebelling. They have formed a group.
 * 2. Several weeks ago, I got my picture taken for the yearbook. However, when they sent pictures in so you would know what they look like. I realized that even though it FELT like I was smiling, I wasn't in the picture. They didn't want to re-take the picture, but we managed to fit it in because the elementary school nearby is having picture day soon. They will then take that picture and put it in the High school yearbook.

October 21:

Most of the comedy was from Gym class again.
 * 1) One of the seniors stuck his hand to a wall, and started climbing it. Very odd…
 * 2) We played Handball again. When I got the ball I accidentally ran into an older student. We tripped over each other and went splat…
 * 3) The kids are still rebelling…
 * 4) Someone at our table in lunch took my friend's fries when he wasn't looking and hid it under another table. I managed to use some crazy form of sign language to tell him where they were. The kid who took them was punished with 3 whippings of a binder to his rear...

October 23:


 * 1) Watched Night of the Museum 2. Can't get over Lincoln's hatred towards pigeons ("BLAST these pigeons, and their incessant POOING! *flick*", "Disgusting half-pigeons! *smash*")
 * 2) Well, our dad is letting us keep the last puppy of the last litter our dogs are having. I have already trained her to hunt my sister :P. Told her to attack my sister's feet, and she did so until dad took us back to Mom's. She even "gave up" for a short time before attacking her feet again outside the house when we were packing up the stuff we brought.

October 25:


 * 1) Some kid in school kept asking me if I smoked pot (O_o), what liquor I drink, and if I want to come to his house to drink wine (O_O)
 * 2) The kids are still rebelling…

October 26:


 * 1) Same kid asked me the annoying questions about pot and liquor (-_-)
 * 2) More rebelling...

October 27:


 * 1) Got more of the annoying liquor harassment -_-
 * 2) The rebelling is calming down a bit…
 * 3) During P.E., one of the kids climbed up the gym walls…
 * 4) Additionally, while the class paid Handball, one kid dribbled the ball too close to him and hit himself in the groin.
 * 5) One of the kids on the opposite team was about to score a point, but our goalie deflected it with his groin and said, "Thank you, Lord!"

October 28:


 * 1) More of the harassment, except now they're asking me if I want weed… -_-
 * 2) The seniors were wearing costumes today. One was dressed as Hannah Montana, torturing us all with a portable radio with its volume turned to the maximum. Another person dressed up as a baby, someone was a Greek person from ancient times, and someone was a bride. Someone was also a dog… there was a panda… and a guy wearing a red costume that covered his entire body, including his face. He had shorts added to it and sunglasses...

October 31:

This long already? O_o

I get fake blood, a friend, and a fake knife. I dress up as Ghostface from Scream, put the fake blood on the knife, and my friend puts some on his chest.
 * 1) During Study Hall, I was sitting there, minding my business with my friends. Our Study Hall teacher was a History teacher, and was preparing a video for her class for later on, and as she did so, the educational video's title theme, with the volume turned up to the maximum, began blasting. I was right next to it, and obviously freaked out. Later on, the dismissal bell also caught me by surprise, freaking me out. I got up to ask my friend for my pen (I let him borrow it for his homework), and my desk suddenly fell over for no reason. I did the typical Ted Buckland "Awwwwww…", and got my stuff back.
 * 2) Still more liquor harassment…
 * 3) At lunch, a friend of mine tried to figure out what kind of insanity everyone at the table had. The kid who dropped his book in the trash on October 14th-Schizophrenia and paranoia Me-Dementia The girl sitting next to me-Bipolar disorder The girl next to the girl next to me-None Himself-Paranoia Some kid he knew who walked by us-Pedophilia (O_O)
 * 4) Gym class. We played Handball again. Just more humor… except I forgot a hilarious thing they did…
 * 5) I had to cancel my Halloween prank. Here is how it goes:
 * 1) He puts the fake knife "in" his chest.
 * 2) When someone tries to toilet paper our house, I drag my friend over to him, pretending to not notice them.
 * 3) When I get their attention, I take the fake knife "out" of my friend, wipe the fake blood off, and say, "YOU'RE NEXT!" in my perfect Ghostface voice imitation.

November 1:

Not much today… but…
 * 1) In Science class, I was trying to complete an assignment so I wouldn't have homework. As I was rushing, my calculator (yes, we were using them)started messing up, and I cursed at it. My teacher, who was nearby, must have thought I was talking to him (since he was making an announcement), because he started staring at me with a disturbed expression.

November 2:

Trying to remember what happened… AH YES.
 * 1) In Art class, the kid who harassed me about liquor started asking me about my personal life, then my phone number. So I gave him a fake one… I feel bad for the sucker who he intends on calling…
 * 2) Opened my locker in a hurry to my next class… it hit me in the head O_o
 * 3) This tall kid was blocking people in Handball during Gym… a kid yelled, "END THIS MADNESS! AIM FOR ITS HEAD!"

November 3:


 * 1) My older sister brought her puppy over. She played with her toy bone, so I decided to play fetch. In time, I laid down and put the bone on my chest, and blocked it with a hand. The puppy started trying to get to it, making it look like she was brutalizing me. Since she couldn't get the bone, she angrily started trying to stuff her head down my mouth to bite my tongue (O_o). Soon, I pretended to die, and the puppy pulled the bone out of my hand (which was now on my neck), making it look like she pulled one of my bones out :P

November 8:

Finally found some interesting stuff.
 * 1) During Gym class, we were having a study hall, so my classmates and I just fooled around. We have this weird thing where we make Ninja noises and jab each other in the gut. This was inspired by my ultimate weapon: gut jabbing… except when I do it it can actually hurt people… in time, we settled down, and one of them started playing on his ipod. As we watched, one of the kids jabbed me in the gut and ran off the bleachers we were on. I jumped several feet into the air off the bleachers, made a Ninja noise, and jabbed him multiple times in the gut, bringing him to his knees.
 * 2) More liquor harassment, and this time, the kid is telling the whole school about it even though we made a deal he wouldn't. As he and his friends mocked me about drinking liquor (even though I don't), I rushed at him, kicked him in the jaw twice, and slammed him into a locker, finally snapping from all these rumors told about me. Now, you are probably saying, "that's right, Shade. You gave him what he deserves, congrats :D", but, as I removed his head and put it in my locker, I suddenly flashed back to reality, realizing that the part of me attacking him was being imagined.

Part two so I don't have to keep scrolling when editing
November 16:

Today was odd…
 * 1) I humorously made noises and faces in History class (which everyone, even my teacher, loves).
 * 2) I just noticed my tendency to use my pencil as a mustache in History.
 * 3) Well… also awkward. We were in art class. I was done with the work I had to do, so I resorted to doing my History homework, but my art teacher snatched it up. She looked at it for a few seconds, ripped it up, and threw it away. My classmates started whispering about how crazy she is.

November 19:

The comedy was on the game.
 * 1) I teleported to Samuel, and found him getting yelled at by random haters.
 * 2) Later, I grouped up with LeClerc Sharpe and some random Paradox guy and we formed a tiny triangle. We all made a thought bubble saying, "O_O"
 * 3) I was soon left as the last guy doing it, and then ex-Wikia member Walker found me. He told everyone he was globally banned, and wanted to talk to me. When he faced me, I sat in my glare position, with the "O_O" thought bubble. When he turned away, I exclaimed, "FOOT". When he turned around, I would be in my glaring position still, with the "O_O" though bubble. This happened several times.
 * 4) Miss Telltale came, and I friended her. I whispered to her to "rake Walker". You can pretty much assume what happened…
 * 5) Eventually, I got bored as I waited for my dad to come pick me up from here. I prepared to log out in my classic Hermit-Ninja disappearance thing. I got a smoke grenade out, and prepared it. Walker came out of nowhere. "AHA! I CAUGHT YOU!" he exclaimed as he ran at me with a sword. As soon as he was really close to me, I threw the grenade, engulfing us both in smoke, then I logged off. You can assume that when the smoke was cleared away and I had mysteriously vanished, Walker was left confused.