Murder on Everglade Alley

 This is a fan-play written by User:John Breasly. It is the story of a murder that has taken place late one night on Everglade Alley.

Scene I - The Murder
''It is late and raining. A single figure rushes down Everglade Alley, pursued by another larger figure. Victim falls.''

Victim: Please! Please, no! I'll have it soon!

Assailant: Your time is up.

''The assailant draw his pistol, and shoots the fallen victim in the head. Suddenly, a lantern in a nearby shop window flickers on, and a man steps out of the doorway.''

Jason Yelloweagle: Oi, who are you! What.... Oh my God! Get away!

The assailant runs off into the night, as the man rushed forward.

Jason Yelloweagle: He's.... he's dead! Help! Help! Help!

Two Royal Navy members walk down the street, and spot Jason attempting to revive the man.

Guard #1: What's happened here?

Jason Yelloweagle: This poor man has been shot!

Guard #1: Call for backup!

The second guard runs off, and scene closes.

Scene II - The Investigation Begins
''It is early morning. The crime scene is guarded by the Royal Navy.''

Weatherby Swann: Oh my! How could this have happened, in Everglade Alley, of all places! Where is that Redskull chap!?

Elizabeth Swann: Father, calm down!

Weatherby Swann: A murder!? In my fair city!? I will not stand for it!

Simon Redskull then comes down the alley, and starts to bow to Weatherby Swann.

Simon Redskull: M'governo-

Weatherby Swann: How could you let a murder take place in Everglade Alley!? Now all the townsfolk are frightened out of their minds!

Simon Redskull: Err.... I was.... out.... as it were.

Simon gives Weatherby a sheepish grin, which Weatherby returns with an angry glare.

Weatherby Swann: I expect you to have someone hired and conduct a full investigation! Good day! Come now, Elizabeth...

Elizabeth Swann: Yes, father. (Whispering to Simon) Good luck!

Simon nods, then turns around, scratches his head, and looks at the body.

Simon Redskull: (To self) Now, where can I find a good investigator?

Kat Walnutstone: Here.

Simon looks to his left and notices Kat Walnutstone leaning against the wall of a nearby shop.

Simon Redskull: M'love, I don't be thinking this is a case for you and a few of your friends. We'll need top notch investigators.

Kat Walnuststone: And we are. Follow me.

Simon and Kat leave.

Scene III - The Sauveurs Pirates Jeu Office
''Kat Walnuststone enters the office, followed by Simon. It is a small, one room office with five desks. Lawrence Daggerpaine sits at the biggest desk.''

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Katherine, have you investig... well, I see you've brought the land-lord himself!

Kat Walnustone: I have. And I believe we can strike a deal.

Simon Redskull: Now now, let's not jump to conclusions, I'm not even sure I can hire a tiny business like this.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Tiny? We, alone, solved the Great Sage Fraud case!

Simon Redskull: That was you? Well, I suppose you'll be good enough. Meet me at the crime scene when you're ready.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Excellent.

Moments after Simon leaves, Benjamin Macmorgan enters the office, wearing a large overcoat, a British huting hat, and is carrying three large boxes.

Benjamin Macmorgan: 'Ello all! Guess what I just... whoa!

''Benjamin falls, and drops the first box, from which large overcoats and hunting hats fall out. The others are caught by Kat, leaping to the rescue.''

Benjamin Macmorgan: Err... bad timing?

Benjamin gives Kat a sheepish grin, which looks silly because his long mustache is now disheveled.

Kat Walnutstone: Benjamin.... what are we going to do with you?

Benjamin Macmorgan: You'll love me after you see what's in the boxes!

''Lawrence and Kat each open box. In Lawrence's box, there are small glass disks, small jugs and containers, small wooden clipboards, and several other evidence search items. In Kat's box, there are attachable mustaches, mustache combs, wigs, and several other items used for disguises.''

Benjamin Macmorgan: See!? Aren't they wonderful?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Yes, the supplies are excellent!

Benjamin Macmorgan: No, not the supplies! The mustaches! Hehe! They're perfect!

Kat hits Benjamin on the back of the head.

Kat Walnuststone: Send a message to Mr. Pistol, and tell him to meet us at the usual.

Benjamin gets up, and scurries off to his desk.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: When your done, meet us there.

Kat and Lawrence leave.

Scene IV - Investigating No. 1
''Lawrence and Kat arrive back at the scene. Lawrence goes straight to the body, while Kat investigates the items the victim dropped.''

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Kat, do you know the name of this man?

Kat Walnutstone: No, no one knows.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Interesting.... the face is too distorted for me to even begin to guess.

''Lawrence then pulled out a hankerchief, and put it over the distorted face. He then begins to search the body. After several minutes, he finds a note.''

'' Mr. Morganson, It has come to my attention that you are running out of time. Get it soon, or the worst may happen to you, and your family. From, The Greaser ''

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Kat, come over here.

''Kat walks over, and reads the note. Her eyes widen.''

Kat Walnutstone: Well, it seems that this Greaser, whoever he is, is behind the murder.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Not necessarily. We have no proof other than a vaguely hinting note.

Benjamin Macmorgan then walks up, wearing the cheesy detective wear.

Benjamin Macmorgan: 'Ello, Lawrence!

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Benjamin, have you ever heard of The Greaser?

Benjamin Macmorgan: I believe he ran a pirate gang called the Privateers of Penzance! No... it was... um.... Princes of Thieves! No.... the Merrymen..... no.... um.....

While Benjamin talks to himself, Simon Redskull walks out from a shop, and starts talking to Lawrence.

Simon Redskull: So, Mr. Daggerpaine, what have you come up with so far?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Well, we found this here note from a man called The Greaser. Know anything about him?

Simon Redskull: The Greaser used the be a henchman for Admiral Macmonger. He now runs a vicious pirate gang in Padres del Fuego called the "Deadcoats"-

Benjamin suddenly snaps out of his trance.

Benjamin Macmorgan: I got it! He runs a gang called the Deadcoats!

Lawrence hits his hand on his forehead.

Kat Walnuststone: Right, so.... how should we find them?

Simon Redskull: They've got a base in a partially underwater cave somewhere on Padres del Fuego, but no one knows where.

Benjamin Macmorgan: Maybe the Nautilleans might help us? And I can give Jack his disguise mustache!

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Alright, looks like we're heading to Padres del Fueg-

Simon Redskull: Wait! Don't you have to interview the witness? He says he caught a glimpse of the man.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Ah.... yes.... Kat! Why don't you question him?

Kat walks over to Jason Yelloweagle, who is tidying up his shop.

Kat Walnuststone: 'Ello Mr....

Jason Yelloweagle: Yelloweagle! Jason Yelloweagle! And you might be...?

Kat Walnuststone: Katherine Walnutstone.

Jason Yelloweagle: Pleasure to make your acquaintance. This is about the murder, yes?

Kat Walnutsone: Aye, 'tis. Now, can you tell me exactly what you heard and saw last night?

Jason Yelloweagle: Well, I awoke to some cries on the street, but the rain was so loud I couldn't hear a damned thing. I grabbed my lantern, and walked downstairs. When I opened the door, I saw a well-built man, clad in black and dark grey. His chin, which I only got a glimpse of, was quite pale. He ran off, and when I approached the poor man, he was dead!

Kat Walnuststone: Nothing else was strange? You didn't see anything else?

Jason Yelloweagle: Now that you mention it, he did have a medallion. I think it might've been a dolphin, or maybe a disphormed swine, but he was moving too quick for me to say exactly.

Kat leaves the shop, and goes back to Lawrence.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Do you have a description?

Kat Walnutstone: Aye, now let's leave.

Kat, Lawrence, and Benjamin walk off to the docks.

Scene I - Skull's Thunder
''Benjamin, Kat, and Lawrence enter the Skull's Thunder in Los Padres. They see Jack Pistol by the bar, punching a man in the face.''

Jack Pistol: There's more where that came from if you don't scamper off!

The bandit gets up and runs out of the bar.

Jack Pistol: Ah, Lawrence, how are ye!?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Well enough, I suppose. But we need to discuss something in private. Do you think we could find a room here, and talk it out?

Jack Pistol: I doubt. This tavern's (pauses momentarily and ducks as bottle flies over head) walls are like ears. Why don't we head to (pauses as a man charges him, to which he punches in the face) my office?

Jack leads the group out of the tavern.

Scene II - The Nautillean Offices
Il Nautilea stands outside a large building.

Il Nautilea: Password?

Jack Pistol: You know who I am.

Il Nautilea: Not until I get the password I don't.

Jack Pistol: Abyss.

Il Nautilea: No.

Jack Pistol: What!? Your supposed to tell us the password before you change it!

Il Nautilea: Why would I tell the password to a stranger?

Jack Pistol: Oi....(punches Il Nautilea in the face) Is that the password?

Il Nautilea falls to the ground, and cups his hands over his nose.

Il Nautilea: (in pain) Aye, Mr. Pistol....

Jack leads the way in.

Jack Pistol: Now, let's head to my office.

''Jack leads the group to the top floor, and into a large, comfortable office. There is screaming coming from next door.''

Jack Pistol: Err.... ignore that screaming, it's Susanne Telltale's office.

''Sound of breaking glass comes from other side of wall. Moments later, Susanne pulls open the door to Jack's office.''

Susanne Telltale: Jack! Get me another vase on order now!

Jack Pistol: Aye, Miss Telltale, right away, Miss.

Susanne slams the door, and little noise is hear afterwards.

Benjamin Macmorgan: Isn't she pleasant?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Anyway, let's get down to business. The murder on Everglade Alley. Here's what we have so far.

Lawrence puts the evidence on Jack's desk.

Jack Pistol: Hmm.... strange. We have several ex-Nautillean assassins that now work for pirate gangs.... maybe this is one. As for The Greaser, he leads a pirate gang called the Deadcoats. Plenty miners have found them.... none have come back in one piece.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: And what of Mr. Morganson?

Jack Pistol: I'll do an official check, but you might want to ask around. Seems he lived by here.

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Will do.

There is a knock at the door.

Nicholas Nikolai: Jack... oh, your in a meeting....

Jack Pistol: No, no, it's fine. Lawrence, why don't you head over to the inn and get a room?

Lawrence Daggerpaine: Alright. Meet us at twelve tomorrow.

Group gets up and leaves.

Nicholas Nikolai: Jack, I'm worried. We're tied to the Tortugan Mafia, and if those "investigators" found any ounce of a possible link, we'd be tying our own nooses in no-time.

Jack Pistol: I know. But the Tortugan Mafia is run by the Hermit, and he wouldn't commit a murder like this... well, he would, but he'd take the body for a meal.

Nicholas Nikolai: Unless the man was cursed, per-say.

Jack Pistol: You aren't suggesting....?

Nicholas Nikolai: I am.

Jack Pistol: Go get that voodoo priestess at once!

Nicholas leaves, and Jack pulls out a piece of parchment and starts writing quickly.