User blog:Jeremiah Garland/The Problems with Role-Play

Alright, well, as the name suggests, I'll be talking about all the little issues that I've observed in the past concerning roleplay, and discuss them. Normally I'm trying to lighten up on the roleplay, but I'm going to make a hard exception here.

First, do note: this is not meant to offend anybody. If you're offended, then go suck a tree.

The Four Different Kinds of Roleplayers
One thing you may not know about Jeremiah is that he use to watch some of Pearson Wright's YouTube videos, before Pearson went crazy. As you may recall, he made one particular video where he outlines the different kinds of roleplayers. Here is my take.

The Good-Willed Roleplayer
The good-willed roleplayer is the roleplayer who knows how government and politics actually works, and is involved in his/her country for sheer enjoyment, and to live roleplay the way it was meant to be: simulating a real-life country. They don't declare war on a different country every four days, or obsess over SvS. They obtained leadership of their country in a fair, non-scandalous way, such as having it passed down to you as an heir, or being hired by the country's leader. They are dedicated to their country, but without becoming power-hungry obsessed maniacs. They are model leaders, with many friends who are willing to serve under them. When there is a troubling conflict, the good-willed roleplayer will think things through before springing into action and declaring war on random nations for reasons that don't even concern them. All roleplayers should be the good-willed roleplayer.

The Try-Hard Roleplayer
The try-hard roleplayer becomes so obsessed with roleplay, that they begin to dedicate their own life to it. They make numerous videos and blogs about roleplay, and can never seem satisfied with whatever is going on. They try to claim as much land as possible, declare war without a second thought, and put faulty logic before reasonable logic. Half the times, nothing they say or any policies they put forth make any sense, much to the anger of the rest of the roleplay community. They are the competitive type: they hate all other roleplaying nations who aren't directly allied, and carry this hate so far as to issue serious real-life threats to those countries' leaders. They do have a strong following, but the members of that following are no better than the leader himself/herself. They do not fully understand how politics goes, or fully grasp diplomacy. Furthermore, their temper is constantly on the urge of eruption, and the slightest assault against them, and they declare war on freaking Australia. Oh, and for them, all roleplay is focused entirely on the game, and everything is decided through meaningless simulated Disney ship battles.

The Roleplayer Who Can't Make Up Their Mind
There is also the roleplayer who can't decide which country he/she should serve. The solution? Serve all of them! For this kind of roleplayer, it makes sense to hold various titles in different countries at once. Apparently, with these roleplayers, it's possible to be Prime minister of Austria, chancellor of war of Romania, professor of science of Poland, general-lieutenant-captain of Uzbekistan, emperor of Canada, Sultan of Switzerland, lord marshal of England, holy priest of unicorn-land, all while being King of India. They simply do not devote themselves to one country in particular, but several. What's even more surprising is that they somehow manage to pull this off! They can lead an army in France while also fighting off Jolly Roger's skeletons in Israel. Such realism.

The Roleplayer Who Simply Has No Idea What's Going On or How Things Work
Last but not least, is that special roleplayer who downright has no idea of how anything works. Welcome to the world where Switzerland is not only a country, but apparently the most powerful empire in Europe. Welcome to the world where two completely random countries, such as Romania and Hawaii, are able to team up and invade China. Welcome to the world where something so stupid as a trading company is able to declare war on freaking France. This, my friends, is how the mind of this type of roleplayer works. All logic here has been abandoned. All thoughts of historical accuracy, or realism of any kind, are just non-existing. For these roleplayers, politics is a foreign thing that simply could not be understood. War and unrealistic fighting is the way to get things done.

I'll be adding more.