User blog:John Breasly/Evil Emperors

The Romans!thumb|347px|right

Lyrics
(Calligula)

The famous Roman Empire,

(Elagabalus)

Was the biggest, meanest neighborhood,

(Commodus)

We four were the baddest emperors,

(Nero)

And by bad we don't mean good!

(Chorus)

Woohoo!

(Calligula)

My name is Calligula,

A rotten Roman pig-ula,

If you tell me a fib-ula,

I'll hack your hands to stubs!

One time I killed a priest, who'd come to sacrifice a beast,

You think it's sad that he's deceased?

We all laughed like chumps!

I'm very hairy, but take note,

If you so much as whisper goat!

With an iron rod, you will be smote!

In a good mood today,

so I won't slit your throat!

I'm bad! (He's bad!)

A shameless rotten cad!

Do you still have limbs since meeting me? Then I guess you should be glad! Ooh, ooh!

(Elagabalus)

Your nastiness was fabulous,

But my name's Elagabalus,

And I was far far worse,

Just listen to my verse!

I was quite notorious,

For catapulting venomous snakes,

At Rome's enormous crowds,

Oh how they flared, ha!

If you won the lottery prize,

I'd give you bees, dead dogs, and flies!

My house guests got a nice surprise,

A lion in their bed!

You think to children, I'd be cuter,

No! I was there biggest executor,

Used their guts to read the future,

Says here I should get a job as a school tutor! (Dejected look)

I'm bad! (He's bad!)

Could argue I was sad!

Hated throughout the empire,

from Great Britain to Baghdad! Ooh ooh!

(Commodus)

Afraid your claim is bogus,

'Cause my name is Commodus,

And no one else could be,

A worse emperor than me!

There never was a greater,

Pretend gladiator!

If the booing got too loud,

made the lions fight the crowd!

Just one man was grand-er,

Julius Alexander!

So I killed him see, 'cause I'm the Emperor,

ME!

I'm bad! (He's bad!)

My action's truly rad!

(Nero)

You only got the Emperor job,

Because you were chosen by your dad!

To me you all score ze-ro!

My name is Emperor Ne-ro!

Evil men your not,

I'm the worstest of the lo, woo!

My rule was full of fear-o!

Yes men from far and near-o,

called me a fighting her-o,

or I would have them slayed!

Changed the Olympic season!

So the medals went to me, son!

Burned Christians for no reason,

Just a fun game I played, you know?

Poisoned my step-brother!

Ordered men to kill my mother!

Tried to drown her,

but she fled,

so I had her stabbed instead!

Wait, there's more.

With my first wife,

Dear Octavia,

I showed truly bad behavior,

chopped her head off,

gave it to,

my girlfriend who I then killed too!

I'm bad!

So baddy!

Of badness I'm the daddy!

C'mon I wanna see,

A more evil bloke then me, ho!

(Chorus)

Your bad!

Real bad!

Nothing more to add!

We all thought that we were more awful,

But you were truly mad! Woohoo!

(Nero)

I'm the baddest emperor the Romans ever had!