User blog:Parax./A letter from the Salt Throne: The Ottoman Empire

To this day, the primitives bicker and squabble amongst themselves for leadership over the Ottoman Empire. Unfortunately for them, this glorious nation belongs to one individual and one individual only: me. He who occupies the Salt Throne. Basil Brawlmonk, or "Muhmad I", was executed quite some time ago when he sought to declare the empire his own and hand it off to bands of filthy pirates&mdash;I have no tolerance for traitors and even less for those who misspell Mahmud. As such, opposers shall likewise be flattened. Thank you for your time, and may you stand by my side rather than at the gallows.

Sultan Mahmud I